IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You recently did a short cookery courses. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter describe what you enjoyed about the course. Say how much cooking you've done since the course. Suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer.

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Dear Mrs. Karen, I am writing to express my satisfaction with my recently completed six-month culinary program at your school.
As a result
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, I have been cooking nonstop since my classes ended, but I think it would be nice to include more West African menus in the scheduled curriculum in the future. The past six months have been an amazing journey at Cambrian cooking school, with friendly staff. Mrs. Tonia
in particular
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, even though the South African dishes were difficult to comprehend, was patient and ensured everyone fulfilled the graduation requirements. Despite, I have been so busy lately, it did not stop me from cooking exotic dishes from the course textbook to the extent that my husband is now concerned that I might become obese soon. The program outline covers a lot of topics,
as well as
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 intercontinental menus.
However
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, it would be nice if more West African dishes were included in the curriculum.
This
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 would
also
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 attract students from
this
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 part of the globe. Thank you for the opportunity to write
this
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 review. Yours Sincerely, Ebere Ebere.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and sticks to it. While your paragraphs did have central themes, there was a slight deviation in the paragraph discussing your cooking at home, which could be more tightly linked to how the course influenced your cooking habits.
Coherence & Cohesion
To further improve, try utilizing a wider range of linking words and phrases to show connections between your ideas more explicitly. You've made a good start, but there's always room to refine and expand your lexical resource.
Task Achievement
Your letter nicely addresses all parts of the task, demonstrating a good understanding and completion. To enhance it even further, illustrate your suggestions or experiences with more specific examples or anecdotes. This depth can make your feedback even more valuable and personalized.
Task Achievement
Maintain the personal and engaging tone you've used throughout. This is particularly well-suited for a letter of this nature. Continuing to match the tone with the purpose of the letter is essential for effective communication.
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