Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Nowadays celebrities have become idols for the new generation. Some

argues

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argue

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that these stars are setting a negative example for the young generation by being popular with their attractive facial features and wealth rather than personal achievements. In

this

essay

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essay,

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we will discuss about I agree with

this

notion and explain some points with relevant examples. Celebrities are more popular because of their personal lifestyle. They used expensive products that couldn't be offered by the local community.

For example

, we have some singers and their Instagram followers much more than someone who describes and gives some solutions to international problems.

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This

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this

singer was famous for their songs but today they are famous mostly for their luxurious lifestyle and beauty which they changed through plastic surgeries. Population follow them for their glamour and

this

is the negative case for young children. So we need to focus on personal achievements rather than fake beauty,

Secondly

, people follow their stars on different social media platforms including Facebook and Instagram, where they are shown their personal life.

For example

, there are some YouTubers who translate all their life I think it was one girl. Sometimes in the life stream they talk to followers about their average income and say that It is too easy to buy something

that is

very expensive like a Car or a travel package to any country.

However

, no one knows about the hard

time

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times

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he faced during his crucial period. In conclusion, many celebrities are famous for their beauty and way of living only because of that they show off their lifestyle on social media.

However

, those who follow them get affected by their wealth and get to know more because of those things rather than personal achievement.

Submitted by ilyosov2003 on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses for communities in poorer countries. Why do young people choose to do so? Who will benefit more: young people or the communities?

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.

Everyone should be encouraged to use fewer resources rather than recycle more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?