Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Nowadays celebrities have become idols for the new generation. Some

argues

Change the verb form

argue

show examples

that these stars are setting a negative example for the young generation by being popular with their attractive facial features and wealth rather than personal achievements. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will discuss about I agree with

this

notion and explain some points with relevant examples. Celebrities are more popular because of their personal lifestyle. They used expensive products that couldn't be offered by the local community.

For example

, we have some singers and their Instagram followers much more than someone who describes and gives some solutions to international problems.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

singer was famous for their songs but today they are famous mostly for their luxurious lifestyle and beauty which they changed through plastic surgeries. Population follow them for their glamour and

this

is the negative case for young children. So we need to focus on personal achievements rather than fake beauty,

Secondly

, people follow their stars on different social media platforms including Facebook and Instagram, where they are shown their personal life.

For example

, there are some YouTubers who translate all their life I think it was one girl. Sometimes in the life stream they talk to followers about their average income and say that It is too easy to buy something

that is

very expensive like a Car or a travel package to any country.

However

, no one knows about the hard

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

he faced during his crucial period. In conclusion, many celebrities are famous for their beauty and way of living only because of that they show off their lifestyle on social media.

However

, those who follow them get affected by their wealth and get to know more because of those things rather than personal achievement.

Submitted by ilyosov2003 on Sun Mar 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

To enhance your score for task response, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. Develop your arguments further and provide a clear opinion on the topic. Make sure your essay clearly states to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement, and support your position with detailed examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay more logically. Use a clear paragraph structure, with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Connect your ideas more smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. Additionally, focus on varying sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is recommended that children in primary school should be encouraged to learn how to plant vegetables and rear animals. The benefits of this involve learning and understanding the hard work it takes to do these activities, thereby promoting appreciation. Moreover, the process of learning such a skill could endanger a child's life as some animals can be unpredictable.
4
band
Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide examples for your opinion.
Really, children are not born with instructions to maintenance. So, it maybe seems logically to participate on some parenting class for purpose to understand what does it means to be a parent. For my opinion, it may be right for young parents before childbirth, and only some instructions about the first days of life. But in my experience, the basic habits, knowledge, aims we can convey to our children without any special classes. Moreover, I can say that I disagree with the statement in the topic for several reasons.
5
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In some nations, people are getting heavier and standards of health and well-being are falling. This essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is the type of nourishment they are eating and submit a government education program as a viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion. The main cause of the health crisis currently affecting so many individuals is over-consumption of poor quality sustenance. Convenience food and junk food, such as microwave dinners, chocolate bars, McDonald’s and pizza, have become a ubiquitous part of modern life. Eating too much of these high fat meals causes many to gain weight and this has knock-on effects on someone’s general wellness. For example, the movie ‘Super Size Me’ demonstrated that a person who eats this kind of food all the time will not only get fat but also suffer from such things as raised blood pressure and even fatty liver disease. The most practical solution to this problem is a government-sponsored awareness cam...
6
band
Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only provide for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree?
It has been observed that the government fund supports some valuable thesis. Many people say that managers ought to support main scientific research in a state of less useful projects. I firmly agree with the given statement. My indication is elaborated in ensuring paragraphs and relevant examples.
5
band
Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.
With the target of renovating the faces of cities, the government has decided to financially invest in art works. These contributions have made significant improvements to many cities so it can be a worthy place to live. However, whether its necessity is still controversial in different aspects.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide examples for your opinion.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only provide for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+