Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays celebrities have become idols for the new generation. Some
argues
that these stars are setting a negative example for the young generation by being popular with their attractive facial features and wealth rather than personal achievements. In Change the verb form
argue
this
essay
we will discuss about I agree with Add a comma
essay,
this
notion and explain some points with relevant examples.
Celebrities are more popular because of their personal lifestyle. They used expensive products that couldn't be offered by the local community. For example
, we have some singers and their Instagram followers much more than someone who describes and gives some solutions to international problems. Like
Change preposition
This
this
singer was famous for their songs but today they are famous mostly for their luxurious lifestyle and beauty which they changed through plastic surgeries. Population follow them for their glamour and this
is the negative case for young children. So we need to focus on personal achievements rather than fake beauty,
Secondly
, people follow their stars on different social media platforms including Facebook and Instagram, where they are shown their personal life. For example
, there are some YouTubers who translate all their life I think it was one girl. Sometimes in the life stream they talk to followers about their average income and say that It is too easy to buy something that is
very expensive like a Car or a travel package to any country. However
, no one knows about the hard time
he faced during his crucial period.
In conclusion, many celebrities are famous for their beauty and way of living only because of that they show off their lifestyle on social media. Fix the agreement mistake
times
However
, those who follow them get affected by their wealth and get to know more because of those things rather than personal achievement.Submitted by ilyosov2003 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
To enhance your score for task response, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. Develop your arguments further and provide a clear opinion on the topic. Make sure your essay clearly states to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement, and support your position with detailed examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay more logically. Use a clear paragraph structure, with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Connect your ideas more smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. Additionally, focus on varying sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite