IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People living in big cities face several problems. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller town?

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In recent decades,
people
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 living in big
cities
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 have faced myriad problems and difficulties,
such
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 as traffic congestion and increased
pollution
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, including decreased
air
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 quality and noise
pollution
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.
However
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, moving citizens from large
cities
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 to smaller towns is not the only solution.
Firstly
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, traffic congestion is a significant issue in crowded
cities
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. As urban life tends to be fast-paced,
people
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 prefer convenient personal
vehicles
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,
such
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 as cars and motorcycles, over public transport. Public transportation often does not meet
people
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's needs
due to
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 limited routes and stops.
For instance
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, using a motorcycle allows
people
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 to travel anywhere without the constraints of public transport schedules.
This
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 reliance on personal
vehicles
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 contributes to traffic jams.
Additionally
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, the use of personal
vehicles
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 leads to
air
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 and noise
pollution
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.
Vehicles
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 emit harmful gases, reducing
air
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 quality, and the noise from many
vehicles
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 can disturb city residents.
Instead
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 of relocating citizens, improving public transportation is a more effective solution. Making public transport more convenient and diverse in mode choices can encourage
people
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 to use it. Investing in environmentally friendly options
such
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 as commuter trains, subways, and electric buses would reduce
pollution
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.
Furthermore
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, the government should implement regulations to phase out older, more polluting
vehicles
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. Replacing them with modern, less harmful alternatives can significantly improve
air
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 quality. In conclusion, rather than encouraging
people
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 to move to smaller
cities
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, it is better to enhance public transportation and enforce regulations to reduce vehicle emissions.
This
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 approach addresses the root causes of urban problems without creating new environmental issues in smaller towns.

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task response
Consider including more specific examples to support your points, such as statistics on traffic congestion or pollution levels in particular cities to strengthen your argument.
task response
You might further elaborate on why moving citizens to smaller towns may not be a viable solution, perhaps introducing the potential problems that could arise in smaller towns as a result.
coherence cohesion
Adding more connective words and phrases could enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, making the argument convincing and easy to follow.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a comprehensive response to both parts of the question.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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