IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time without parents. Agree? Or disagree?

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The Unita state restricted the
hours
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 of activities for
teenagers
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 and said that
teenagers
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 after an exact
time
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 can’t be out without their parents. The essay might agree because of bad
friends
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 and the other reason is the rising number of crimes.
Friends
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 have an important role in teenager’s lives. Outdoor activity lets
teenagers
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 to most of the
time
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 be together and, allows
teenagers
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 to share their opinions and experiences.
For example
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, a student under the age of 14 most of their
time
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 is spent with school
friends
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 or students in
this
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time
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 they share their ideas.
Furthermore
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, as
teenagers
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 are at the age of learning so, psychologically, they are coping with every single thing from each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the morals and attitudes of these
friends
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 easily influence each other. Recently, the number of criminal
teenagers
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 is rising. Most
teenagers
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 prefer to do outdoor activities until late at night.
This
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 late
time
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 is the cause of some crimes.
For instance
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, when a teenager under the age of 14 goes to nightclubs and drinks too much alcohol he or she will lose control and when going out will attack someone or break some car’s glass which is a crime.
Therefore
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, outdoor activity without any restrictive
hours
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 will provide the
teenagers
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 with a poor situation.
To conclude
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, restricting the outdoor activities
hours
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 in the USA for
teenagers
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. The Unita state limited the
time
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 for young
teenagers
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 who without their parents can’t be out. I think it is a positive idea,
first,
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their
friends
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 are known and
second,
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the rate of crime day by day is rising. To prevent
this
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 issue the
hours
Use synonyms
 of outdoor activity should be imposed.

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structure
Focus on developing a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that reiterates your main points. This helps in making your essay more coherent and easily understandable.
content
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt comprehensively. You should clearly state your stance in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay with strong, clear arguments supported by relevant examples.
language
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a range of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay. Examples include: moreover, however, therefore, for instance.
examples
To score higher in specific examples and comprehensive ideas, include more detailed and varied examples that directly support your main points. These examples should be precise and relevant, offering a clear link to the argument you're making.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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