Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, the growing trend of

children

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spending several hours daily on their smartphones has become a major concern.

This

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essay will explore the reasons behind

this

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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and explain why I believe it is largely a negative development. There are several contributing factors to

this

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pattern. One of the primary causes is the limited time parents are able to spend with their

children

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Due to

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the increasing cost of living, in many households, both parents are required to work full-time jobs, leaving

children

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with more unsupervised time.

As a result

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, many turn to smartphones for entertainment or social interaction.

Additionally

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, cultural shifts among younger generations have made online communication more appealing than face-to-face interaction, even within families. Social media platforms and online games offer instant gratification and peer connection, which

children

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may prefer over traditional family bonding. From my perspective,

this

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development is more harmful than beneficial. Excessive screen time can negatively impact a child’s physical health, leading to issues

such

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as eye strain and poor posture. More importantly, it can interfere with academic performance, as

children

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may prioritize watching videos or playing games over completing schoolwork.

Moreover

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, constant exposure to curated and repetitive online content may limit creativity and critical thinking skills, reducing

children

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's ability to form their own ideas and solve problems independently. In conclusion, the increasing use of smartphones among

children

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is largely driven by modern lifestyle demands and generational changes.

However

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, I believe

this

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trend is detrimental to their

overall

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development, both mentally and physically.

yalda.nazari48Tue May 20 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing a few more specific examples or case studies to enhance the arguments presented.

task achievement

Ensure all points are thoroughly expanded upon for better clarity and depth of ideas, especially in the body paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and phrases to enhance flow between points.

coherence and cohesion

Well-structured and clear introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the essay’s focus.

task achievement

Addressed both parts of the question effectively, discussing reasons and presenting a clear opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation has more advantages or more disadvantages?

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

Nowadays, human activity has become a threat for fauna and flora. What are the reasons and what can be done to solve it?