Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
All over the world, numerous individuals communicate and access
information
through social media
. Despite this
writer contending
that its convenience and accessibility outweigh the Wrong verb form
contends
drawback
of health problems.
The most noticeable factor is that Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
people
can access Correct article usage
the internet
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
eveywhere
. Its influence has been widespread around the world, which Correct your spelling
anywhere
create
a vast network. Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
This
allows users
to connect easily to their friends and relatives, even they
have gone abroad. Correct word choice
if they
Moreover
, due to
no extra payment, people
are able to use the apps as much as they like. Thus
, its convenience supports individuals to keep in touch with their acquaintances.
However
, some opponents believe that social media
is harmful to health, both physically and mentally. Not only damaging brain
, social Correct article usage
the brain
media
may also
lead to pyschiatric
problems Correct your spelling
psychiatric
such
as anxiety and depression. Although
this
idea has its right, using internet
logically and in a short period would avoid those issues. Correct article usage
the internet
Hence
, only use
Wrong verb form
using
internet
when necessary Add an article
the internet
aid
Fix the agreement mistake
aids
users
their
tasks effectively.
Another thing is that social Change preposition
in their
media
has a
numerous and immediate Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
information
resources. It is undeniable that news always updates, every hour and every day. Because of this
, it is difficult for users
to get information
comprehensively. Internet
provides its Add an article
The Internet
users
quick access immediately, and this
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
to catch up with the situation easier
Rephrase
more easily
as well as
know their acquaintances' s activities at that time. According to
a group of researchers from USA
, approximately 80% Correct article usage
the USA
people
use social Change preposition
of people
media
as their main information
resources
.
Taking all into consideration, the drawback of health issues is outweighed by the convenience and accessibility. Fix the agreement mistake
resource
Hence
, governments should restrict the information
on the internet
to avoid incorrect knowledge and misunderstanding.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Make sure to integrate a comprehensive introduction that clearly states your stance on the issue. Also, ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and restates your position.
Task Achievement
Focus on developing your ideas more comprehensively by adding more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This not only strengthens your position but also makes your response more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout your essay by clearly organizing paragraphs around main ideas and using linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Introduce the main idea at the beginning of the paragraph and then develop it with explanations, examples, or arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?