It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society?

#society #work #members #contributions #artists #scientists #type #contribution

Having public figures in a

community

is an advantage because they influence progressive developments ranging from

prommoting

Correct your spelling

promoting

businesses, attracting investments and encouraging youths to follow their dreams.

However

this

essay,

Capitalize word

show examples

Capitalize word

show examples

will give a detailed comparison between

artists

and

scientists

' contributions to our society. On the one hand,

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

are very

influencial

Correct your spelling

influential

when it comes to changing people's lives. They have a unique way to convince the youth to follow their dreams. To elaborate, many youths in my

community

idolise the popular musicians. They envy the lifestyle and and success these icons are enjoying,

therefore

we have seen these

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

coming back to the

grass roots

Correct your spelling

grassroots

show examples

to support these kids.

Firstly

by giving them hope and speaking life in them

as well as

facilitating scholarships for the less privileged students.

Secondly

, by carrying out

campains

Correct your spelling

campaigns

to eradicate the drug abuse pandemic in the neighbourhood.

This

is quite a

plausable

Correct your spelling

plausible

act by the

artists

to bring sanity to the streets of Nakamo.

On the other hand

, there are

also

scientists

whose contribution is

also

worth our recognition. They do a lot to promote

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy living in the

community

For instance

, the medical

scientists

in our

community

held a

campain

Correct your spelling

campaign

against chorela, teaching people about hygiene. They have

also

started a trust fund to increase medical

facilies

Correct your spelling

facilities

in our

surbab

Correct your spelling

urban

suburb

. In conclusion, both

artists

and

scientists

are doing great jobs to

i9mprove

Correct your spelling

improve

the standards of living for our population.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

more appreciation goes to the

artists

as they seem to be doing more than their counterparts.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Mon Mar 18 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure an engaging and well-defined introduction that clearly presents the essay's aim. Try to make the purpose of your essay clear from the beginning to engage your reader and set a clear direction.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more fully by expanding on how artists and scientists contribute to society. Include more specific examples and evidence to support your comparisons and conclusions.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and subsequent sentences to elaborate and provide examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the logical flow of your essay by using transitional words and phrases more effectively. This will help guide readers through your arguments and improve the overall readability of your text.

Task Achievement

Avoid generalizations and aim for specific instances or studies that showcase the impact of artists and scientists. This specificity will make your argument more compelling and grounded in reality.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

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Some people feel online courses are better while others feel classroom courses are good? Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school student. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+