In some cultures, marriage and having children is viewed as the main purpose in a person’s life. In other societies, having a good career and income is what is seen as success. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Societal
success
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standards differ globally. In some nations,
success
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is seen in marriage and parenthood; in others, it is marked by prestigious careers and high incomes. These views mirror cultural and societal norms and personal values, showing diversity within a single country across generations. In cultures valuing family continuity and traditional roles, marrying and having children is considered not just life's course but one's ultimate purpose.
This
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belief, rooted in strong family bonds, underscores the importance of contributing to family lineage.
For instance
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, post-Korean War Korea, an agrarian society, highly valued large families for maintaining lineage, where personal
success
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was seen as the family's
success
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.
Conversely
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,
success
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in highly developed industrial societies is often measured by individual
achievements
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, notably career progression and financial independence. Here,
success
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is quantified by job status, income, and possessions. Modern Korea shows
this
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shift towards valuing individual lives and
achievements
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over the collective family, leading to postponing childbirth for personal and financial readiness. Both perspectives, shaped by cultural, social, and economic factors, define
success
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.
Nevertheless
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, current Korean society faces tensions between generations valuing traditional roles and those prioritizing personal ambitions, with family formation considered secondary. In my opinion,
success
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is multidimensional, requiring a balance between domestic life and professional
achievements
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.
This
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balanced approach, valuing personal
success
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and family happiness, leads to a more comprehensive
success
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form, recognizing the significance of
achievements
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and relationships in contributing to fulfilment and happiness. In conclusion,
success
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is personal, evolving with aspirations, experiences, and values. Despite cultural influences, the most satisfying path likely involves personal growth, happiness, and dedicating oneself to loved ones, offering a broad
success
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view.
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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your key arguments. This helps to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task equally. Provide a balanced discussion of both views mentioned in the prompt and clearly state your own opinion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Personal or widely recognized examples can make your essay more convincing and engaging.
task achievement
Ensure a clear differentiation between your views and a discussion of existing views. While discussing both sides, also emphasize your own stance within the conclusion for stronger task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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