In some cultures, marriage and having children is viewed as the main purpose in a person’s life. In other societies, having a good career and income is what is seen as success. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#cultures #marriage #children #purpose #person’s #life #societies #career #income #success #answers

Societal

success

standards differ globally. In some nations,

success

is seen in marriage and parenthood; in others, it is marked by prestigious careers and high incomes. These views mirror cultural and societal norms and personal values, showing diversity within a single country across generations. In cultures valuing family continuity and traditional roles, marrying and having children is considered not just life's course but one's ultimate purpose.

This

belief, rooted in strong family bonds, underscores the importance of contributing to family lineage.

For instance

, post-Korean War Korea, an agrarian society, highly valued large families for maintaining lineage, where personal

success

was seen as the family's

success

Conversely

success

in highly developed industrial societies is often measured by individual

achievements

, notably career progression and financial independence. Here,

success

is quantified by job status, income, and possessions. Modern Korea shows

this

shift towards valuing individual lives and

achievements

over the collective family, leading to postponing childbirth for personal and financial readiness. Both perspectives, shaped by cultural, social, and economic factors, define

success

Nevertheless

, current Korean society faces tensions between generations valuing traditional roles and those prioritizing personal ambitions, with family formation considered secondary. In my opinion,

success

is multidimensional, requiring a balance between domestic life and professional

achievements

This

balanced approach, valuing personal

success

and family happiness, leads to a more comprehensive

success

form, recognizing the significance of

achievements

and relationships in contributing to fulfilment and happiness. In conclusion,

success

is personal, evolving with aspirations, experiences, and values. Despite cultural influences, the most satisfying path likely involves personal growth, happiness, and dedicating oneself to loved ones, offering a broad

success

view.

Submitted by chaekyunghwa11 on Mon Mar 18 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your key arguments. This helps to guide the reader through your essay.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task equally. Provide a balanced discussion of both views mentioned in the prompt and clearly state your own opinion.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Personal or widely recognized examples can make your essay more convincing and engaging.

task achievement

Ensure a clear differentiation between your views and a discussion of existing views. While discussing both sides, also emphasize your own stance within the conclusion for stronger task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

268 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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