Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #phones #school

It is controversial about if

children

are supposed to be forbidden or permitted to use their

phones

during the

school

day

. One perspective is positive and the other is negative. From my point of view, I deem

phones

Change the noun form

phone

show examples

usage of

children

should be

limmited

Correct your spelling

limited

in the

school

day

. On the one hand, restricting phone

usages

Fix the agreement mistake

usage

show examples

could bring a few benefits for

children

First,

many social networks and games on the phone are too attractive and addictive for teenagers to control themselves so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they may waste much time on

phones

instead

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

. Banning

phones

would prevent

children

from these

temptaions

Correct your spelling

temptations

Second,

information on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

phones

are n't

Change the verb form

isn't

show examples

always useful for mentally immature teenagers.

Children

may be

mislea\d

Correct your spelling

misled

by people with bad intentions leading to disconnection from the

school

environment and classmates. Limiting

phones

would make

children

pay more attention

Change preposition

show examples

real life and face-to-face communication.

Last

, using

phones

frequently is harmful for the eyesight. Some careers in the future could be restricted with

shortsight

Correct your spelling

short sight

shortsighted

short-sight

. Keeping

children

away from

phones

is not only good for their physical health but

also

beneficial for their futures.

On the other hand

, if

children

are allowed to use

phones

Change preposition

during

show examples

the

school

day

, they are able to search for

anwers

Correct your spelling

answers

Change preposition

show examples

their confusion on the internet and they have opportunities to contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their parents in case any emergency happens.

However

, distinguishing helpful and correct

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

among a large amount of information on the internet is not easy.

Children

can ask their teachers for help, whether it is to

anwers

Correct your spelling

answer

answers

questions or contact parents.

To conclude

although

there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

benefits of permitting

children

to use

phones

during the

school

day

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

far outweigh the benefits.

Children

should be banned from using

phones

for their educational qualities and healthy growth.

Submitted by JJ on Mon Mar 18 2024

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task achievement

Develop your ideas fully. While you've provided some arguments and examples, deepening your exploration of each point could strengthen your essay. Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to support your views.

coherence cohesion

Pay close attention to your spelling and grammar. Errors such as 'limmited' instead of 'limited' and 'answers' instead of 'answer' can detract from the clarity of your message. Regularly practicing grammar exercises or using writing aids can help improve your accuracy.

coherence cohesion

Work on the organization of your essay. While you have an appropriate introduction and conclusion, some sections might benefit from clearer transitions and connections between ideas. Consider using more linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Cyberbullying
Concentration
Emergency communication
Digital literacy
Educational resources
Social development
Self-regulation
Enforcement
Socioeconomic status
Technology access
Learning apps
Screen time
Peer interaction
School policy

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

some people believe that taxing is best way to reduce the industrial pollution.While some suggest there are several other ways to solve this trouble. Discuss both the views and give you opinion.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?