Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is controversial about if
children
are supposed to be forbidden or permitted to use their phones
during the school
day
. One perspective is positive and the other is negative. From my point of view, I deem phones
usage of Change the noun form
phone
children
should be limmited
in the Correct your spelling
limited
school
day
.
On the one hand, restricting phone usages
could bring a few benefits for Fix the agreement mistake
usage
children
. First,
many social networks and games on the phone are too attractive and addictive for teenagers to control themselves so that
they may waste much time on Correct word choice
apply
phones
instead
of study
. Banning Wrong verb form
studying
phones
would prevent children
from these temptaions
. Correct your spelling
temptations
Second,
information on the
Correct article usage
apply
phones
are n't
always useful for mentally immature teenagers. Change the verb form
isn't
Children
may be mislea\d
by people with bad intentions leading to disconnection from the Correct your spelling
misled
school
environment and classmates. Limiting phones
would make children
pay more attention on
real life and face-to-face communication. Change preposition
to
Last
, using phones
frequently is harmful for the eyesight. Some careers in the future could be restricted with shortsight
. Keeping Correct your spelling
short sight
shortsighted
short-sight
children
away from phones
is not only good for their physical health but also
beneficial for their futures.
On the other hand
, if children
are allowed to use phones
in
the Change preposition
during
school
day
, they are able to search for anwers
Correct your spelling
answers
of
their confusion on the internet and they have opportunities to contact Change preposition
to
with
their parents in case any emergency happens. Change preposition
apply
However
, distinguishing helpful and correct solution
among a large amount of information on the internet is not easy. Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
Children
can ask their teachers for help, whether it is to anwers
questions or contact parents.
Correct your spelling
answer
answers
To conclude
, although
there are few
benefits of permitting Correct article usage
a few
children
to use phones
during the school
day
, disadvantages
far outweigh the benefits. Correct article usage
the disadvantages
Children
should be banned from using phones
for their educational qualities and healthy growth.Submitted by JJ on
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task achievement
Develop your ideas fully. While you've provided some arguments and examples, deepening your exploration of each point could strengthen your essay. Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to support your views.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to your spelling and grammar. Errors such as 'limmited' instead of 'limited' and 'answers' instead of 'answer' can detract from the clarity of your message. Regularly practicing grammar exercises or using writing aids can help improve your accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Work on the organization of your essay. While you have an appropriate introduction and conclusion, some sections might benefit from clearer transitions and connections between ideas. Consider using more linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.