Successful sports professionals can earn much more money than people in other important jobs. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's world, many professional
athletes
Use synonyms
earn very high salaries, sometimes even more than doctors, teachers, or engineers. Some
people
Use synonyms
believe
this
Linking Words
is fair because sports are difficult and competitive,
while
Linking Words
others think it is unfair, as other important jobs help society more.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both sides before giving my own opinion. Some
people
Use synonyms
think that
athletes
Use synonyms
deserve to be paid a lot because they train hard and face great pressure. Becoming a professional player takes years of dedication, talent, and discipline.
In addition
Linking Words
, sports bring huge money through ticket sales, advertisements, and sponsorships.
For example
Linking Words
, football clubs earn millions every year, and players help make
this
Linking Words
possible. Because of that, many believe that it is fair for them to receive high salaries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
argue that the money
athletes
Use synonyms
receive is too much compared to other important jobs. Teachers, doctors, and firefighters all do essential work and help improve
people
Use synonyms
's lives, but they often earn much less.
For instance
Linking Words
, a doctor studies for many years and saves lives every day, but may not earn even half of what a footballer makes. These
people
Use synonyms
believe that salaries should reflect the value of the work to society, not how popular it is. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
professional sports bring in large amounts of money, I believe that it is not fair for
athletes
Use synonyms
to earn much more than
people
Use synonyms
in other useful and necessary jobs. Society should respect and reward all professions equally, especially those that make a real difference in our lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction is clear and presents the topic well, but try to make your thesis statement more specific by briefly stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs. Try to use more linking words to improve flow between ideas, for example, 'furthermore' or 'however'.
task achievement
Your examples support your points, but adding more specific examples or details would make your argument stronger. For instance, mention a specific athlete or event related to the income differences.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents both views effectively and has a clear conclusion, which is a strong point.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: