Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is undoubtedly true that
veganism
is one of today's issues and all
people
turn to it. Increasing numbers of
veganism
have proved that a majority of
people
prefer to avoid using meat for their meals in the 21st century. Despite the many advantages of healthy eating that derive from
this
arrangement, I totally agree that the majority of
people
turn to
veganism
to not use up meat for some vital reasons. To illustrate
this
, the effect
veganism
has on
health
benefits and animal welfare will be analyzed. The first and perhaps the most important effect of
veganism
is in healthy eating which could play a primary role in one's
health
. Potentially reducing the risk of certain
health
conditions
such
as heart disease, diabetes, and certain cancers plays a good example here. It must be remembered that if a number of
people
stick to their healthy diet, it results in avoiding these diseases for the rest of life, but some argue that consuming meat products is essential for increasing the level of body protein;
furthermore
, scientists with a vast amount of evidence prove it all
veganism
could get protein by vegetable and cereal.
Thus
, the heightened benefit of it can clearly be seen.+ Another positive effect of
veganism
is animal welfare, which all men and women are struggling with
this
controversial issue. A primitive instance of
this
is exemplified by avoiding animal products which contribute to the reduction of animal suffering. Many
people
believe that by doing
this
, they could help for the ethical treatment of animals in the food industry, but others do not agree to do it.
Thus
, all humans must be respected for their attitudes. By way of conclusion, turning to
veganism
could have had an impact on our lives.
Thus
, it is clear why
this
has a primary role in the
health
benefits and animal welfare. As
this
essay has shown, all
people
could have a vibrant life, if they living as
veganism
.
Submitted by m.momeni1010 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, it's essential that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon and not just stated. Linking words are used, but sometimes they may not be as effective in demonstrating a clear logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Regarding task response, your essay addresses the prompt, providing your point of view with general reasons. However, you need to develop your arguments further with more specific examples and explanations. Make sure that each paragraph clearly contributes to your overall position and that you address all parts of the task.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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