Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to anatural environment.

#zoos #alternatives #environment

Zoos

have been amusing and educating humans about

animals

for centuries.

Althoughcontainment

Correct your spelling

Although containment

animals

zoos

is an increasingly controversial topic. Some argue

thatconfining

Correct your spelling

that confining

that-confining

animals

to their cages in

zoos

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

both necessary and healthy,

while

others

refutethis

Correct your spelling

refute this

. On one hand, many believe that keeping

animals

inside the contrived environment of a

zoois

Correct your spelling

zoo is

a way to save many species from going extinct.

For example

, Auckland Zoo has

manybreeding

Correct your spelling

many breeding

programs in place to enable

animals

to mate and reproduce. These

animals

mightnot

Correct your spelling

might not

be able to find mating partners in the wild and

hence

their species could be wiped out.

This

example makes it clear why many people support

this

stance.

On the contrary

, many argue that the practice of keeping

animals

in a zoo is harmful

tothese

Correct your spelling

to these

primates.

For instance

, a recent survey found

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

animals

the

Correct article usage

show examples

zoo in Karachi,Pakistan, were fed toxic substances by the visitors which had an adverse effect on

thehealth

Correct your spelling

the health

of many

animals

. As

this

example illustrates,

animals

zoos

can be abused if

propersafety

Correct your spelling

proper safety

measures are not employed.

Hence

, it is obvious why

this

point of view has

garneredsupport

Correct your spelling

garnered support

. After looking at both sides of

this

argument, it is felt that keeping

animals

zoos

begetsgreater

Correct your spelling

begets greater

benefits than disadvantages as long as there are precautionary measures in place

toensure

Correct your spelling

to ensure

the safety of these

animals

. It is hoped that

zoos

will continue to keep

endangeredspecies

Correct your spelling

endangered species

endangered-species

from going extinct. In conclusion,

zoos

are helpful

to preserve

Change preposition

in preserving

show examples

animals

and

protect

Wrong verb form

protecting

show examples

them from

variousconditions

Correct your spelling

various conditions

they face in

wild

Correct article usage

the wild

show examples

but

also

it’s necessary to provide

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

habitat for them to live.

Submitted by nmpppp4444 on Tue Mar 19 2024

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task achievement

Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly present your stance on the matter, while the conclusion should succinctly summarise your main points and reaffirm your position. This will enhance the clarity and impact of your essay.

task achievement

In your main body paragraphs, aim to develop your arguments more fully by providing more detailed examples or evidence. This will help to make your points clearer and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and paragraphing to create a more engaging and fluent narrative. Employing a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases can also help to improve the flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to anatural environment.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that professional like doctors and engineers , should be required to work in the country where they training .Other believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish . discuss both side and give your opinion .

1.Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Childern have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometime starting until the age of five or six, right up until the age of eighteen. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making childern do exams?

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?