Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to anatural environment.

Zoos
have been amusing and educating humans about
animals
for centuries.
Althoughcontainment
Correct your spelling
Although containment
of
animals
in
zoos
is an increasingly controversial topic. Some argue
thatconfining
Correct your spelling
that confining
that-confining
animals
to their cages in
zoos
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
both necessary and healthy,
while
others
refutethis
Correct your spelling
refute this
. On one hand, many believe that keeping
animals
inside the contrived environment of a
zoois
Correct your spelling
zoo is
a way to save many species from going extinct.
For example
, Auckland Zoo has
manybreeding
Correct your spelling
many breeding
programs in place to enable
animals
to mate and reproduce. These
animals
mightnot
Correct your spelling
might not
be able to find mating partners in the wild and
hence
their species could be wiped out.
This
example makes it clear why many people support
this
stance.
On the contrary
, many argue that the practice of keeping
animals
in a zoo is harmful
tothese
Correct your spelling
to these
primates.
For instance
, a recent survey found
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
animals
in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
zoo in Karachi,Pakistan, were fed toxic substances by the visitors which had an adverse effect on
thehealth
Correct your spelling
the health
of many
animals
. As
this
example illustrates,
animals
in
zoos
can be abused if
propersafety
Correct your spelling
proper safety
measures are not employed.
Hence
, it is obvious why
this
point of view has
garneredsupport
Correct your spelling
garnered support
. After looking at both sides of
this
argument, it is felt that keeping
animals
in
zoos
begetsgreater
Correct your spelling
begets greater
benefits than disadvantages as long as there are precautionary measures in place
toensure
Correct your spelling
to ensure
the safety of these
animals
. It is hoped that
zoos
will continue to keep
endangeredspecies
Correct your spelling
endangered species
endangered-species
from going extinct. In conclusion,
zoos
are helpful
to preserve
Change preposition
in preserving
show examples
animals
and
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
them from
variousconditions
Correct your spelling
various conditions
they face in
wild
Correct article usage
the wild
show examples
but
also
it’s necessary to provide
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
habitat for them to live.
Submitted by nmpppp4444 on

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly present your stance on the matter, while the conclusion should succinctly summarise your main points and reaffirm your position. This will enhance the clarity and impact of your essay.
task achievement
In your main body paragraphs, aim to develop your arguments more fully by providing more detailed examples or evidence. This will help to make your points clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and paragraphing to create a more engaging and fluent narrative. Employing a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases can also help to improve the flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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