IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Space exploration is a costly project. The money would be much better spent on reducing social problems. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#space #exploration #project #money
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In the ongoing debate over budget allocation, some argue that redirecting funds toward mitigating social problems seems more important than spending them on
space
 exploration.
However
,
this
 essay strongly disagrees with that statement because it offers broader benefits to society
such
 as improvement in the quality of people's lives through innovations and the boost in education.
To begin
 with, scientific advancements made through planetary exploration have led to numerous technological achievements that have improved life on the planet. Scientific knowledge acquired from
space
 expands humankind's understanding of nature and frequently unlocks creative and useful Earth‐based applications for society.
For example
, research conducted for
space
 missions has resulted in the progression of medical image technology, water purifying systems, and environmental monitoring tools. These innovations have directly contributed to addressing social issues
such
 as healthcare, clean water access, and environmental sustainability.
Furthermore
, cosmic scrutinization serves as a catalyst for inspiration and education.
For example
, it has inspired generations of students to pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics,
as well as
 in arts, humanities, and social sciences. Investments in
space
 programs often result in the development of educational outreach initiatives that foster literacy and critical thinking among young people.
This
, in turn, contributes to the long-term socio-economic development of society by nurturing a skilled workforce capable of solving complex challenges.
To conclude
,
while
space
 exploration is undoubtedly a costly endeavour, its potential benefits extend beyond mere scientific discovery. It often leads to innovations and new technologies that are widely used in daily life and make them significantly better, solving some crucial social problems, and it seriously levels up an education system.
Submitted by natallia.khrenava on

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Task Response
While your essay provides a strong argument supporting space exploration, it could be enhanced by further expanding on the direct impact of space-related technologies on daily life. Consider incorporating more detailed examples and explaining how these technologies specifically address social issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, you might consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to link ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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