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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people are now working remotely from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #home #development
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Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals choose to
work
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 from
home
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.
This
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 is a positive development because it makes working less stressful for employees.
Also
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, it is good for the environment because it eliminates the need to commute to and from the office. The first positive aspect is that
people
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 who are working from
home
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 live a less stressful life as they do not have to rush to
work
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;
instead
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, they start their
work
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according to
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 their assigned schedule.
This
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 is particularly beneficial for young
people
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 who have little children to take care of.
For example
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, the flexible schedule is a boon for young mothers who quit their jobs after having a baby, and remote working enables them to be employed all over again. Workers who
work
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 remotely can incorporate regular breaks into their schedules in order to relax. It benefits their health and improves their productivity. Another positive aspect of working remotely is that it is beneficial for the environment. Private vehicles are one of the main reasons causes air pollution. When fewer
people
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 commute to
work
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 on a regular basis, their carbon footprint becomes lower, and they
also
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 get to save money on utility and energy bills. They save money on office rentals and equipment.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 outbreak,
people
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 mostly worked from
home
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, which led to lower levels of pollution.
Thus
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, remote
work
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 is advantageous for both employees and employers. In conclusion, working from
home
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 has become an advantageous trend as it assists employees to live and
work
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 stress-free and results in a better
work
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-life balance.
Also
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, it alleviates environmental issues
such
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 as pollution. Employers
also
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 get to benefit from reduced costs of operation.
Submitted by Jiahad22 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a logical flow of ideas with a strong introduction and conclusion. Continue to ensure that all paragraphs are seamlessly connected to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Aim to introduce a greater variety of examples and evidence to support your main points. This could include statistical data, studies, or a wider range of personal anecdotes to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
To further improve, consider exploring counterarguments to your points before refuting them with your reasons. This will enrich your essay and showcase a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've done a great job in structuring your essay and providing clear arguments. For an even better score, ensure all paragraphs distinctively address separate main points while still contributing to your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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