IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have recently discovered that a product you particularly like, and often purchase, will no longer be produced. You have decided to write a letter to the company to object to the discontinuation of this item: •what the product is and why you like it so much •how its removal from production will affect you •what you would like the company to do as an alternative

#product #purchase #company #object #discontinuation #item #•what #•how #production #alternative
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter in context to
Correct article usage
the decesion
show examples
decesion
Correct your spelling
decision
 of discontinuation of manufacturing of the Confident Hydrolic Dental Chairs ZX 1 by the company. I am a dentist by profession. I have been using
this
 product for the
last
 ten years, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cost of operating is very reasonable.
Moreover
, it is power efficient too, because it uses
Correct article usage
a hydrolic
show examples
hydrolic
Correct your spelling
hydraulic
 lift, which is operated by foot. There are a few things, which are bothering me.
Firstly
, how will I get spare parts, because without them
machine
Correct article usage
the machine
show examples
 will not work in
desired
Change the article
the desired
show examples
 manner and after-market spare parts are not of good quality.
Moreover
, they are available at higher prices. I would like to urge you to kindly
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not stop
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 line, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 spare parts. Because, it will enable the company customers, which use
this
 model to use it without any hesitation. I hope you will look into the matter personally and I am looking forward to hearing from you on
this
. Yours faithfully, Jatinder
Submitted by mrsdns on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, consider separating each main point into distinct paragraphs. This will help in conveying your message more clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to provide a more detailed explanation of how the product's removal will impact your dental practice specifically, to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The letter has a polite and formal tone throughout, which is suitable for communication with a company.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately used and contribute to a formal tone.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: