Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. What are positive and negative sides of art at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.
It is often argued that dancing is an essential curriculum for
students
but some people believe that
that there are a lot of activities which should be taught to children because it is considered a waste of time. In my opinion, dancing has more merits as compared to Correct word choice
apply
drawbacks
they might bring.
It is true that dancing helps Correct article usage
the drawbacks
in enhancing
the physical health of Wrong verb form
enhance
students
as it boosts the
energy Change the word
their
in
Change preposition
apply
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, students
are sitting in their classrooms for long durations. So arranging dance
classes for 30 minutes to unwind their monotonous class schedule and be actively part of physical activity. Moreover
, it assists in reducing the mental stress of pupils as they are facing burden
of studies and assignments. They Add an article
the burden
also
have sedentary lifestyle
so to break that cycle adding Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
dance
class to their schedule is a great idea to help them have a little fun and relax.
However
, having dance
classes is not favoured by a lot of people as it creates distraction
for Add an article
a distraction
students
from their studies. To exemplify, some students
only try to find excuses to get rid of studies
which can affect their academic results. Correct pronoun usage
their studies
Secondly
, It is not suitable for all students
because few of them do not like dancing and want to do something different like playing sports and going to the library to study.
Thus
, schools should have other kind
of Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
curriculars
available to the Correct your spelling
curricular
curricula
students
to choose from that fits
best for them.
In conclusion, Replace the word
fit
advantages
of having Correct article usage
the advantages
dance
class
in school Fix the agreement mistake
classes
has overweighs
the drawbacks as Wrong verb form
outweigh
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
refreshes
the Correct subject-verb agreement
refresh
students
from their hectic schedule
.Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
Submitted by harmeetkohli31 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task
Start by closely analyzing the prompt to ensure your essay directly responds to all parts. The prompt asks about the positive and negative aspects of art at school, yet your essay primarily focuses on dance, only briefly mentioning other forms of art and activities. Expanding your discussion to cover a range of art forms will improve task response.
structure
Enhance your essay's structure by clearly separating it into paragraphs, each with a unique focus. Your introduction should clearly state your thesis and preview the key points you will discuss. Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph, followed by explanations and examples. A clear conclusion summarizing your argument will also help.
cohesion
Improve coherence by making sure each sentence flows logically to the next. This can be achieved through the use of connecting words and phrases (e.g., furthermore, in contrast, for example) and by maintaining a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.
example
To strengthen your essay, provide specific examples that illustrate your points. While you mention that dance can help relieve stress and improve physical health, adding real-life examples or citing research could make your arguments more convincing.
style
Consider varying your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. This includes using a mix of complex and compound sentences, as well as employing passive voice where appropriate.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.