The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

The pie charts illustrate the devices people in the 18 to 25 age range used to watch television in Canada in two different years (2009-2019).

Overall

, conventional

was the main device

use

Replace the word

used

show examples

in the first

year

while

the flat screen was the highest in the second

year

Moreover

tablet

Add an article

the tablet

a tablet

show examples

was the lowest used device in 2009 ,

whereas

in the second

year

, conventional

was the least

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

device

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

The percentage of conventional

recorded in Canada by youths made up just over a third (34%) in 2009 and

this

then

declined to just 4% in 2019.

Similarly

, laptops accounted for one-fifth in the first

year

after which it fell to 12% in the second

year

Also

, the desktop showed a downward trend

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

one-fifth to 12% after a decade.

On the other hand

, mobile phones recorded less than a fifth in 2009 before they went up to just over the quarter.

Likewise

, flat screen

was (8%), and

then

it increased by 19% . Ultimately, tablets recorded (5%) in the first

year

, and it rose by 14

Submitted by s_syedy on Wed Mar 20 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, year with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

181 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an satisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

In today’s world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time Others belive that it is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply Discuss both views and give your opinion

You have recently moved into a new house. You want to tell your friend about the good news. Write to your friend. In the letter: describe the house, describe the neighbourhood, invite your friend to come and see the house.