IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the total number of students who studied English in Vietnam from 2015 to 2018, and their purposes of learning English. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the total number of students who studied English in Vietnam from 2015 to 2018, and their purposes of learning English. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #students #english #vietnam #purposes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph below gives information about the figures of students
learned
Correct pronoun usage
who learned
show examples
 English
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the pie chart illustrates the percentage of purposes in Vietnam between 2015 and 2018.
It is clear that
 the number of every age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 shows
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase, except the
35
Correct your spelling
35-year-old
years
 old group.
Moreover
, in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
show examples
 chart, the main target
studying
Change preposition
for studying
show examples
 English was
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
 education. In the bar graph, in 2015, the range of 13-16
years
 old, 17-24, 25-34 and 35+ launched with 0.1, 9, 2 and 3 respectively. In the next 2
years
, in 2017,
while
17
Correct article usage
the 17
show examples
-24
ages
Change the noun form
age
show examples
 group boomed more than double from 8 to 20 and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in
13
Correct article usage
the 13
show examples
-16 and 25-34
years
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with a small jump, the 35+
ages
Change the noun form
age
show examples
 group
stayed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 after a decrease. In
Correct article usage
the finally
show examples
finally
Change the word
final
show examples
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 of research, in 2018, the 17-24
years
 old peaked at 40, which was the highest,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 was 13-16
years
 old with
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 change
along with
 8 in 25-34
years
 old and 5 in 35+. In
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 charts, the main aim accounted for 58
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
belonged
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
 to overseas education, the lower had school graduation at 23
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and immigration at 19
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In 2018, the proportion of aboard
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 continued the largest in sprite of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
narrow
Replace the word
narrowing
show examples
 down
43
Change preposition
to 43
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Whereas
 the school graduation dropped 7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, the
remain
Replace the word
remaining
show examples
insteaded
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
schook oppoturnities
Correct your spelling
school opportunities
 with 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Work
oppoturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
emerged and became
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second at 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by hoangminhnhat150206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "along with".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend analysis
  • increases/decreases
  • categorizing
  • professional development
  • academic studies
  • migration/emigration
  • leisure/personal interest
  • popularity
  • shifts in trends
  • emerging patterns
  • correlation
  • motivations
  • implications
  • language education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: