Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
To begin
, smartphones are utilized for long periods of daily life by most children. I think that it has some merits or demerits related to Linking Words
this
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then
it's positive part is learning expectations and the negative part is health issues which I will discuss some bullet points in detail in the upcoming paragraphs.
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However
, it can be a positive point if offspring use phones for learning in their houses Linking Words
then
it can be beneficial for children. Linking Words
Also
, the modernization period is dependent on technology and schools provide online classes for adolescents in their homes Linking Words
as well as
some special classes Linking Words
such
as computer coding for newly interested children participants in their online programs. Linking Words
Moreover
, some students use smartphones for homework because educators send their work on these gadgets. Linking Words
For instance
, in the developing world, most things have been provided on online platforms which leads to easier to access knowledge by phone.
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Nevertheless
, using gadgets has some cons which create a few health problems Linking Words
such
as eyesight weakness, obesity and lack of concentration. Linking Words
Furthermore
, most offspring play video games on the screen Linking Words
then
which can cause eyesight problems and headaches. Linking Words
In addition
, adolescents spend their time in indoor activities and do not go to outside play on the ground Linking Words
then
they become lazy nature and it creates physical illnesses Linking Words
such
as obesity. Linking Words
Additionally
, phones spread traditions Linking Words
due to
mental sicknesses Linking Words
such
as sleeplessness and insomnia. Linking Words
For example
, nowadays some adolescents wear eyesight spectacles because they spend a lot of time on screen.
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To conclude
, using the mobile offspring in everyday life takes a few hours than in my opinion, parents could ensure about time for use of mobiles and it should be only utilized for education.Linking Words
Submitted by psingh8059 on
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Task Achievement
Expand and clarify your introduction. An effective introduction should clearly state the question being addressed and outline your stance or what your essay will discuss. Try to engage the reader with a strong opening statement.
Task Achievement
Be clear and specific with your examples. When you mention online classes, coding programs, or health issues, provide specific examples or personal experiences that illustrate these points and show how they support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure your paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that summarizes the paragraph’s point and links it to the overall essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words appropriately to connect ideas within a paragraph and between paragraphs. However, be mindful of overusing them, which can detract from the clarity of your writing. A good balance creates a smooth flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Review your essay for grammatical errors and awkward expressions, which can confuse the reader. Consider using a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your language skills.
Task Achievement
Balance the discussion between the positive and negative aspects you're describing. Ensure that each viewpoint is given equal attention and is explored thoroughly, which results in a more substantial and persuasive essay.