Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get news event. Do you think the advantages outwwigh the disadvantages?
These days, the majority of
people
around the world
contact and update the news
occasion by utilizing social media. From my perspective, the advantages exceed the disadvantages in many ways.
On the one hand, it is true to admit that it is convenient for people
to contact and get news
by using social media. People
just need a smartphone, and from that they can access social networking. Just need to bring a small phone, and people
can get global news
events from all over the world
. For example
, in Vietnam in the 1900s if people
wanted to keep in touch with their relatives
, they needed to use a letter and write it, after that, they needed to wait for a long time for the letter transported to their relatives
, so it was inconvenient if they get the crucial problem to inform with their relatives
. In addition
, if there were no social platforms to update the news
, people
in the past needed to wait for the letterman to know about the news
from all over the world
, but it might not vary by current eras, with the updating quickly news
, people
can access many fields from one day and from all over the world
.
On the other hand
, it is also
a saving cost for people
, it is recognised that in the past people
might have spent a lot of money buying letters and it did not include the tax for transportation. However
using the internet can also
easy for people
to keep in touch with their relatives
by using the free platforms and not need to spend other taxes,
or fees. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, people
can contact and update the news
every time and everywhere not limited to the particular time to wait for the operation of the offices that are responsible for transporting letters.
In conclusion, it is true to concede that utilizing social media can have more benefits in people
's lives, and it can cater for people
's lives if they know how to use it in the right way.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay presents a balanced view of advantages and disadvantages before concluding. The essay leans heavily towards the advantages without adequately discussing the disadvantages. Provide a more detailed examination of the disadvantages to offer a comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
Increase the variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas. While your essay has a good structure, varying your connectors and transitions can make your arguments more cohesive.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to enhance their relevance and specificity. While you provide historical comparisons, more contemporary examples or statistical data could strengthen your points. Consider including a recent study or a personal anecdote that highlights the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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