Many people around the world use social media every to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

From all over the world, individuals take advantage of social networking sites to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
friends
and access news.
This
writer believes that the benefits of exchanging
skills
to avoid being a backward person compare to the drawbacks of being addicted. The most advantageous factor of social media is can help gain more experiences about social
skills
which can not be learned solely by
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
.
In other words
, residents can communicate with new people across the world that are necessary for future work or study. From prior knowledge, most teenagers and adults in Vietnam tend to make
friends
by using Facebook and Instagram, but
also
make use of their relationships to enhance their socialization which can potentially benefit their careers.
Thus
, keeping a social account is ongoing it is a practical necessity. Avoiding being backward must
also
be considered. It must be recognized that living in the modern era how people can converse with colleagues or on-off
friends
without a lack of social news , whereby, they are likely to separate
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
even
do
Verb problem
if they are
show examples
not keen on talking with others.
Therefore
, individuals should consider using social networking sites in order to a route can develop their own associations.
However
, a few citizens are reluctant to let their self depend on social media. They believe that some teenagers and children will waste time surfing the internet or chatting with strangers, which will put them focus on realistic life.
This
may be true, but communicating and exchanging online
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will go a long way in encouraging them to have global
friends
and a sense of confidence when talking with strangers.
Consequently
, exchanging new knowledge and
skills
in an online society puts them ahead, not behind. Taking points into account, the possible impact of individuals being addicted is outweighed by the opportunity to gain vital
skills
and turn into fancy people.
Hence
, social media can be more beneficial for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
before commencing with a real community.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Improve your introduction by more clearly outlining your main arguments. This will provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
task response
Consider rephrasing 'This writer believes that...' to 'I believe that...' to make your writing more direct and engaging.
task response
Support your points with more specific, real-world examples to strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure a smoother flow of ideas between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to link ideas more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to enhance the readability of your essay and maintain the reader's interest.
coherence and cohesion
Consider revising sentences that are awkwardly phrased or contain grammatical errors to improve clarity and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!