All children should given a free laptop when they start highschool.Do you agree or disagree?

Highschool is an extremely important part of
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Thus
, considering
to implement
Change the verb form
implementing
show examples
technological devices actively
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
throughout their puberty is a crucial decision. We are living
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
world
that is
surrounded by
technology
. The importance of
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
intelligence and
tehcnology
Correct your spelling
technology
has been enhancing every day.
Therefore
, growing up a youth which
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
of
people
who are really interested
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
tehcnology
Correct your spelling
technology
is essential to being able to catch the rest of the world in terms of
technology
.
Thereby
Rephrase
Therefore
show examples
,
this
implementation may be very effective.
Additionally
,
this
may
bitterly
Add a missing verb
be bitterly
show examples
effective
regarding
Change preposition
in
show examples
reducing the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
inequalities toward students.
Therefore
, every single
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
like
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
supported equally.
However
,
technology
is not only contributing to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
civilization and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not have only positive aspects. But
technology
also
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
social intelligence, interaction level,
empathy
Correct word choice
and empathy
show examples
talent and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them precisely a robot.
For
Change preposition
To
show examples
build a modern and developed civilization, we do not only need
people
who
are know
Change the verb form
know
show examples
so many things about
technology
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
we
also
need
people
who
are communicate
Change the verb form
communicate
show examples
with each other, not addicted to
dopamin
Correct your spelling
dopamine
due to
scrolling social media
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day and
also
can live without
technology
.
People
should use
technology
for their convenience but shouldn't sacrifice their brains for that and be able to stay as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. In conclusion,
children
can learn so many things about
technology
in their lessons at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
Technology
lessons should be compulsory
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the schools' curriculum. But giving
children
leptops
Correct your spelling
laptops
may have so many negatives.
Therefore
laptops shouldn't be given to
children
when they start
high-school
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
.
Submitted by vincase36 on

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task achievement
Begin by clearly stating your opinion on the topic in your introduction. This helps readers understand your stance from the outset.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your position more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can help improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Correct grammatical and spelling errors as they can distract from your message and reduce the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider balancing your arguments by discussing both sides of the argument cohesively before concluding with your own stance. This could enhance the structure and persuasive power of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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