All children should given a free laptop when they start highschool.Do you agree or disagree?
Highschool is an extremely important part of
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Thus
, considering to implement
technological devices actively Change the verb form
implementing
to
Change preposition
in
people
Change noun form
people's
life
throughout their puberty is a crucial decision.
We are livingFix the agreement mistake
lives
a
world Change preposition
in a
that is
surrounded by technology
. The importance of artifical
intelligence and Correct your spelling
artificial
tehcnology
has been enhancing every day. Correct your spelling
technology
Therefore
, growing up a youth which consist
of Change the verb form
consists
people
who are really interested with
Change preposition
in
tehcnology
is essential to being able to catch the rest of the world in terms of Correct your spelling
technology
technology
. Thereby
, Rephrase
Therefore
this
implementation may be very effective. Additionally
, this
may bitterly
effective Add a missing verb
be bitterly
regarding
reducing the Change preposition
in
economical
inequalities toward students. Replace the word
economic
Therefore
, every single children
Change to a singular noun
child
feel
like Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
be
supported equally.
Wrong verb form
being
However
, technology
is not only contributing to build
civilization and Wrong verb form
building
do
not have only positive aspects. But Correct subject-verb agreement
does
technology
also
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
children
social intelligence, interaction level, Change noun form
children's
empathy
talent and Correct word choice
and empathy
make
them precisely a robot. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
For
build a modern and developed civilization, we do not only need Change preposition
To
people
who are know
so many things about Change the verb form
know
technology
,
we Add the word(s)
, but
also
need people
who are communicate
with each other, not addicted to Change the verb form
communicate
dopamin
Correct your spelling
dopamine
due to
scrolling social media for
all day and Change preposition
apply
also
can live without technology
. People
should use technology
for their convenience but shouldn't sacrifice their brains for that and be able to stay as a
human Correct article usage
apply
being
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
beings
children
can learn so many things about technology
in their lessons at the
school. Correct article usage
apply
Technology
lessons should be compulsory at
the schools' curriculum. But giving Change preposition
in
children
leptops
may have so many negatives. Correct your spelling
laptops
Therefore
laptops shouldn't be given to children
when they start high-school
.Correct your spelling
high school
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task achievement
Begin by clearly stating your opinion on the topic in your introduction. This helps readers understand your stance from the outset.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your position more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can help improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Correct grammatical and spelling errors as they can distract from your message and reduce the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider balancing your arguments by discussing both sides of the argument cohesively before concluding with your own stance. This could enhance the structure and persuasive power of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example