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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (such as the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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While
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 numerous individuals opine that improvement of the
transport
Use synonyms
 system is crucial for society, there is another opinion that it is better to invest in the development of other spheres. I partially agree with the first idea. In
this
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 essay, I plan to explain my point of view and substantiate it with a few examples. On the one hand, there are a plethora of public issues that need to be solved, and,
consequently
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, need more funding.
For example
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, the increased number of vehicles on the streets causes air and noise pollution in the cities. Needless to say, these issues are vital for our planet
due to
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 the negative results they have
such
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 as global warming. I firmly believe that these problems should be at the top of consideration for authorities.
On the other hand
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, if governments invest more in the improvement and development of
transport
Use synonyms
 systems,
such
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 as the invention of new types of vehicles that have more capacities and are faster than other ones, the number of means of public
transport
Use synonyms
 will probably decrease. Obviously, it will alleviate the above-mentioned problems.
For example
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, after launching high-speed trains between cities public has an opportunity to get faster their destinations.
This
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 made more convenient transit from one place to another, especially for those who had to drive long distances to get to their
jobs places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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, and now they prefer to travel by train rather than drive their own cars.
In addition
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, there are financial benefits, as driving long distances requires more money spent on gas. In conclusion,
although
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 our society has a huge quantity of issues to be solved, I still believe that spending money on improving the
transport
Use synonyms
 system has benefits that could help to ease
such
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 problems as air and noise pollution.

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, make sure you fully address all parts of the task. In this case, both views and your own opinion were presented, but the discussion could benefit from more in-depth analysis and clearer justification of your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Also, ensure that paragraphs are well structured and each paragraph focuses clearly on a single main idea.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and impact of your arguments by providing more specific examples to support your views. This will help improve the relevance and specificity of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • reliance
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable development
  • conservation efforts
  • pollution
  • traffic jams
  • sustainability
  • urban living
  • prioritizing
  • environmental protection
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