Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#information #culture #history #museums #art #galleries

Nowadays, with the advent of the Internet and the increasing tendency towards obtaining information from online sources, some argue that

museums

and

art

galleries are not needed any more. In

this

essay, I will examine both perspectives on

this

phenomenon and give my opinion.

To begin

with, It is an undeniable fact that obtaining information from the Internet is an easy and convenient method. The interactive nature of

this

global network has made users able to produce content for others, an interesting feature that did not exist before.

Furthermore

, the invention of numerous virtual reality devices, a game-changing technology in

this

domain, like 3D glasses contributes to a more realistic feeling when

people

are using it.

For example

people

can

visit

some

museums

via

this

technology and their experience is considerably close to reality.

On the other hand

, visiting

museums

and

art

galleries

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

individuals

this

opportunity to scrutinize the items, enjoy the ambience, socialize with other

people

and

art

fans and attend social activities. All aforementioned benefits seem to be crucial for human beings.

For instance

, when you

visit

art

gallery, the exposure to the atmosphere of that place could be inspiring for you in many ways. To investigate

this

subject from another view,

people

visit

these sorts of

places

for different reasons. Not everybody is looking to obtain information. Some visitors just want to walk by and have a new experience or only change their mood by exposing themselves to

art

For example

, many

people

may

visit

these

places

just to evade the sense of loneliness.

To sum up

the discussions, despite the fact that exploring

museums

and

art

galleries online is easy, convenient and frugal in some ways, I believe that going and visiting these

places

is an irreplaceable experience.

Therefore

, we still need these

places

visit

and enjoy.

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed May 01 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To further improve, consider diversifying your sentence structures and utilizing a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

While your examples are relevant, incorporating a wider variety of specific instances and data could strengthen your argument and provide a more persuasive analysis.

Task Response

Your essay provides a balanced view of the issue, considering both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which is excellent for the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The logical organization of your essay and the clarity of your introduction and conclusion contribute significantly to its overall effectiveness.

Task Achievement

You've effectively used examples to support your points, adding both relevance and depth to your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive
hands-on experience
interactive exhibits
preservation
cultural and historical artifacts
safeguarded
community engagement
heritage
authenticity
curated exhibits
scholarly input
misinformation
economic impact
tourism
emotional and aesthetic responses
atmosphere
ambiance

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Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Research has show that the transpotation of products are the main source of pollution. Some people believe that the governmant should be in charge of this, while others believe that it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

discuss both views: some people believe family influence the children’ development; however, some argue that other influences (movie, music, friends…) more affect children.

Professional sports person are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?