Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Parenting is increasingly concerned with the concepts of cooperation and competition.
While
it is argued that youngsters need to participate in positive competition at their age to develop their passions, some individuals think that collaboration training has long-term benefits. In reference to
this
notion, I am wholeheartedly in agreement that collaborating with others is considerably more crucial. Pushing
kids
to compete with others is undoubtedly a smart move because it will motivate them to be more tenacious.
However
, an overemphasis on competition can have drawbacks. Children may become fixated on winning at all costs, leading to anxiety and potentially hindering social development.
For example
, a
child focused
Add a hyphen
child-focused
show examples
solely on surpassing classmates in a race might not be inclined to help a struggling friend. It has been noted that as
kids
become older,
in addition
to feeling overburdened with work, they frequently struggle with peer socialisation.
This
makes perfect sense because they must have worked alone for a longer period.
Conversely
, a cooperative environment allows children to develop a range of vital skills. Through teamwork, they learn to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts constructively, and make shared decisions. These skills,
such
as active listening and problem-solving, are highly sought after in today's collaborative workplaces.
Along with
having effective communication skills, other benefits include being compassionate, enthusiastic, and respectful.
As a result
, I strongly believe that instilling a cooperative mindset is far as significant as teaching
kids
how to compete. In summary,
while
competitive
kids
will strive hard to outperform fellow students, being able to collaborate and work well with others will help them more in the long run, whether it be in professional leadership or career advancement.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure and logical flow, which enhances its coherence and cohesion. To further improve, consider using a wider variety of transitional phrases and ensuring paragraphs flow smoothly into one another.
task achievement
You did a commendable job of discussing both views and providing your opinion, effectively accomplishing the task. To elevate your score in task response, ensure that you explore and elaborate on both sides equally before concluding with your stance. Additionally, incorporating more specific examples and detailed reasoning to support your points can enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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