Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Parenting is increasingly concerned with the concepts of cooperation and competition.

While

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it is argued that youngsters need to participate in positive competition at their age to develop their passions, some individuals think that collaboration training has long-term benefits. In reference to

this

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notion, I am wholeheartedly in agreement that collaborating with others is considerably more crucial. Pushing

kids

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to compete with others is undoubtedly a smart move because it will motivate them to be more tenacious.

However

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, an overemphasis on competition can have drawbacks. Children may become fixated on winning at all costs, leading to anxiety and potentially hindering social development.

For example

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, a

child focused

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child-focused

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solely on surpassing classmates in a race might not be inclined to help a struggling friend. It has been noted that as

kids

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become older,

in addition

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to feeling overburdened with work, they frequently struggle with peer socialisation.

This

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makes perfect sense because they must have worked alone for a longer period.

Conversely

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, a cooperative environment allows children to develop a range of vital skills. Through teamwork, they learn to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts constructively, and make shared decisions. These skills,

such

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as active listening and problem-solving, are highly sought after in today's collaborative workplaces.

Along with

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having effective communication skills, other benefits include being compassionate, enthusiastic, and respectful.

As a result

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, I strongly believe that instilling a cooperative mindset is far as significant as teaching

kids

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how to compete. In summary,

while

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competitive

kids

Use synonyms

will strive hard to outperform fellow students, being able to collaborate and work well with others will help them more in the long run, whether it be in professional leadership or career advancement.

misstiasclassroomThu Mar 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure and logical flow, which enhances its coherence and cohesion. To further improve, consider using a wider variety of transitional phrases and ensuring paragraphs flow smoothly into one another.

task achievement

You did a commendable job of discussing both views and providing your opinion, effectively accomplishing the task. To elevate your score in task response, ensure that you explore and elaborate on both sides equally before concluding with your stance. Additionally, incorporating more specific examples and detailed reasoning to support your points can enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your argument.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world today. In the not-too-distant future, technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people used distance- learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, old people are valued by the government while others think that they should consider the young. Discuss both views and give your opinion.