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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade- labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five european countries

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade- labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five european countries
#tables #information #sales #fairtrade- #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
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Tables
Correct article usage
The tables
show examples
 show information about
sales
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
bananas
Use synonyms
 in 1919 and 2004 in five countries of Europe.
Sales
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
bananas
Use synonyms
 illustrated by millions of euros.
Overall
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 In 1999 in Switzerland land
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest which was 3
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros And it was the highest which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 20
million
Use synonyms
 in 2004 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom .
Sales
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 were rated highest in 1999 and 2004, and
sales
Use synonyms
 were 15
millios
Correct your spelling
million
millions
 and 47
million
Use synonyms
.
Coffee
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and
bananas
Use synonyms
 in Switzerland
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased dramatically.
According to
Linking Words
 From first table,
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 of Sweden
coffee
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest in 1999 and 2004. Sale of Shifter land was stopped from 3 to 6
million
Use synonyms
 and
sales
Use synonyms
 of all the five countries were increased by certain
million
Use synonyms
 euro.
According to
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 table, It can be seen that to land
Use synonyms
bananas’
Change preposition
of bananas’
show examples
 sale was the biggest and it increased by over three times. Sweden and Denmark’s
sales
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased by almost half of all.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, bananas, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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