IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the destination of students graduated from physics courses and Art & Design courses in a European country in 2017.

The chart below shows the destination of students graduated from physics courses and Art & Design courses in a European country in 2017.
#destination #students #physics #courses #art #design #european #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart displays the destinations of
students
Use synonyms
 graduating from
Art
Use synonyms
 &
Design
Use synonyms
 and
Physics
Use synonyms
 courses
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a European country in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen the number of
students
Use synonyms
 choosing full-time employment was highest
while
Linking Words
 the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who were unemployed was the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 one.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the number of
Physics
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
 full-time employment
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 nearly twice
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
Use synonyms
Art
Change preposition
of Art
show examples
 &
Design
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 around 70 and 40
students
Use synonyms
 respectively. In
contrary
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
,
unemoployed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
Art
Use synonyms
 &
Design
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 were fewer than
Physics
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 with around 27 for the former and 30 for the latter. Moving on to the other destinations,
Art
Use synonyms
 &
Design
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who participated in both postgraduate study and part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 are slightly more than
Physics
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
In particular
Linking Words
, there were 35
Physics
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 and 38
Art
Use synonyms
 &
Design
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who chose postgraduate study.
Also
Linking Words
, there were 32
Art
Use synonyms
 &
Design
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 and 30
Physics
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
 part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Submitted by lethithut123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, art, design, physics with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: