IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts above show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report of at least 150 words describing the information shown.

The charts above show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report of at least 150 words describing the information shown.
#show #japanese #tourists #australia’s #tourist #market #report #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates the number of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 people who travelled abroad between 1985 and 1995
whereas
Linking Words
 the line
graph
Use synonyms
 outlines data about the percentage of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourists in Australia’s market.
Overall
Linking Words
, the trend of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourism increased over ten years,
in particular
Linking Words
, reaching its peak in the
last
Linking Words
 years. As for the bar
graph
Use synonyms
, the number of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourists travelling abroad trebled, starting at 5 and reaching its utmost at 15 million people. The value shows a steady growth until 1990,
then
Linking Words
 the number of people going abroad declined slightly to just over 10 million in 1991.
Finally
Linking Words
, the figures jumped significantly during the second half of the decade. As regards the line
graph
Use synonyms
, Australia’s share of Japan's tourist market witnessed a sharp increase from 1985 to 1995. The percentage increased marginally until 1988 by 2%,
then
Linking Words
 the value decreased slightly in the following year to just over 4%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourists travelling to Australia soared considerably, reaching its peak at 7% in 1993
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, japanese with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: