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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Are books more powerful than movies or otherwise? Advantages and disadvantages

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The dilemma between
books
Use synonyms
 and movies is a never-ending war. Both of them have a huge impact on our personal and professional lives. Personally, I lean towards
books
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 because they offer boundless opportunities for imagination. Unlike TV series, where reliance on plot and visual effects can limit our creative freedom.
According to
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 the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 done by scientific universities
such
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 as Oxford and Cambridge reported that consuming too much time for watching movies is blocking our memory abilities.
Nevertheless
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, reading all types of
books
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 helps to
stay
Verb problem
keep
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 the brain cells focused all over the time.
For example
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, in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
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 20% of young parents obstructed
the
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apply
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access to
the
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apply
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tv shows for their children up to 4th grade. Respectively, kids started to pay more attention
for
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to
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 memorization of
a
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apply
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new information in their youth.
At
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Last
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last
Linking Words
 but not least, the privilege
consuming
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of consuming
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 information from
books
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open
Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
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a
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apply
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new
horizones
Correct your spelling
horizon
horizons
 in our minds. Especially for individuals who are working in
art
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the art
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 industry, the sense of creativity is a crucial thing. Most of the readerships are granted
with
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apply
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a high abilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a high ability
high abilities
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 to critical solving in
a
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apply
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real time
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real-time
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. Ultimately,
the
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apply
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books
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 are more valuable when it comes to
the
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apply
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problem solving
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problem-solving
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 and memorization skills.

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Improvement Suggestions

3
task achievement

Provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument more comprehensively. While your preference for books is clear, devote more space to discussing the advantages and disadvantages of both movies and books to thoroughly address the prompt.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should include one main idea supported by examples or evidence. Ensure a clear distinction between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Enhance your coherence by linking ideas more smoothly. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. This will create a more cohesive and fluid essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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