IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

One of the major problems that face today's goverments is creating enough sostis factory housing for their increasing population whilst still trying to protect the convironment. Disscuss this statement and your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the widely discussed governmental issues nowadays is building sufficient buildings for the rising residents, and trying to keep an eco-friendly attitude to take care of nature. It is undeniable that housing is crucial for human beings,
however
Linking Words
, buildings may have a negative impact on the environment. Personally, I tend to believe that authority has to build housing in an appropriate place with no harm to the environment, and despite the big risks they have to protect the outdoors.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the government has to provide its citizens with satisfactory buildings and grant comfortable life with great conditions.
People
Use synonyms
 are the first value of the country and authority since they are considered the main workforce, and
consequently
Linking Words
 the catalyst of the country's economy. If
people
Use synonyms
 live in the dwellings and have low conditions,
in other words
Linking Words
, surviving,
then
Linking Words
 it will negatively affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the economy. To take one example, in Nigeria, 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 are surviving
due to
Linking Words
 they are not provided with enough housing, or even elementary basic needs,
as a result
Linking Words
, they work 24 for 7 for low-paid jobs.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the majority tend to believe that houses should be built in the forests
due to
Linking Words
 massive urbanization
last
Linking Words
 decades.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays there is a lot of free space where urbanization can be developed, and there is no need to make deforestation.
In addition
Linking Words
, deforestation has considerably a lot of negative impacts on the environment and
people
Use synonyms
 itself too.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the animals for whom the forest was home will have to run and find other places, and adapt there,
as a result
Linking Words
, it will be a huge stress for them, and lead to the extinction of some species.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it damages the eco-cycle of that habitat. So government should find free spaces for urbanization and think about nature since Earth is home to all of us. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would agree that authorities must provide residents with basic needs, houses, and comfortable life in order to develop as a country in the world, and they should take into account nature, and take care of them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Connect these sections smoothly to help the reader follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas. Avoid overusing any single phrase and aim for variety.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear, relevant examples. Examples should closely relate to the point being made and enhance the argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task equally and ensure your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea and provide thorough explanations to back up your statements.
coherence cohesion
Focus on grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Mistakes can hinder communication and affect your score.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: