IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Other say countries should have their own law. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #system #world #countries #law
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The concept of a single, unified legal
system
Use synonyms
 for the entire world holds a certain allure. Proponents believe it would create a level playing field, ensuring universal fairness and consistency in how crimes are judged and punished.
This
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 could potentially deter international crime, with no safe havens for criminals who flee across borders.
Additionally
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, it could simplify trade agreements and
internationaol
Correct your spelling
international
 cooperation.
However
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, the drawbacks of
such
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 a
system
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 are significant. Legal frameworks are often rooted in a nation's cultural and historical context. A single
system
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 might struggle to address the unique needs and social values of each country.
For example
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, a law prohibiting the consumption of a particular food item might be culturally insensitive in certain regions.
Furthermore
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, enforcing
such
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 a
system
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 on a global scale would be a logistical nightmare, requiring a central governing body with immense power. In my opinion, a more realistic approach lies in fostering international cooperation between existing legal
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
. Shared principles and frameworks for tracking global issues like human trafficking or environmental crimes could be established.
This
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 allows for a balance between consistency and respecting individual national
identites
Correct your spelling
identities
identity
. Ultimately, a diverse tapestry of legal
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, working together, is more likely to achieve global justice than a one-size-fits-all approach.
Submitted by aquariusgirl17 on

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coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay coherently and provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. To further enhance coherence, try to improve the transitions between your points. Use phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'moreover' to indicate shifts or additions in your argument.
task achievement
Your task achievement is solid, with a clear response to the prompt and an opinion that is maintained throughout the essay. To push your score higher, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your opinion with more specific examples. Injecting real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios could make your arguments more relatable and persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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