Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #people’s #skills

In the upcoming year, lots of individuals think that the growing

using variety

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

of technology

such

computers

and mobile

phones

is affecting negatively

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young people’s writing and reading skills.

Firstly

this

essay will discuss, how machines can effect by negatively people’s abilities and

secondly

, the importance of using

computers

and

phones

. On the one hand, there is no doubt that getting addicted to online technology is dangerous and harmful for people and society.

Thereupon

increasing use of some type of technology the demand for books is decreasing. Ultraviolet rays emitted from

computers

damage the memory and brain system. The main cause for

this

problem is parents because the phone is bought by parents. Getting addicted to machines causes different types of diseases,

for example

according to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research

Change preposition

apply

show examples

scientists in 2022 years It shown that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

using a phone for 5 hours will decrease a person’s

lifeby

Correct your spelling

life by

life

2years.

However

, on the flip side of the coin, there are some positive impacts of machinists. It is a true fact that

computers

and

phones

are always helpers for people

that is

why some humans do not believe the idea. Because half part of their job depends on the machines. There are many useful aspects of

computers

and

phones

such

as it is possible to work and hold meetings without leaving home it allows you to do more than 3 things at the same time.

This

is the main reason for throwing Europeans into

this

system.

For instance

, in 2023 years INTERNATIONAL BANK OF CANADA’s percentage increased enhanced 45 % by working online. In conclusion, in my prospective opinion, I agree with

this

idea because everything must have a limit.

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Task Achievement

Clearly introduce the topic in the first paragraph and directly respond to the task by stating your opinion clearly. Avoid vague or general statements that do not directly address the question.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points more fully with specific examples to support your arguments. Your essay mentions general impacts but lacks detailed examples that directly support your view.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your essay has a logical structure by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and several supporting sentences. Connecting words should be used to show the relationship between ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on a clearer introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should present the topic and your main argument clearly. The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your position in a concise way.

Advice

Pay attention to your grammar and vocabulary. Aim for precision and variety in your language use, avoiding repeated phrases and checking for grammatical accuracy.

Task Achievement

Address both sides of the argument as the prompt suggests, but make sure to clearly articulate your own viewpoint and why you hold it, particularly in your conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The diagrom shows the process by which sheep embryos are cloned. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features.

In some countries, many people choose to educate children at home by themselves instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

the government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planet. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money dressing the problems of people. To extend do you agree

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books . do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage.