WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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In today's world, some young people play
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
from
time
to
time
. The reason for
this
double-edged
phenomenone
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
is prone to be complex.
Firstly
,
due to
the highly developed technology, smartphones upgrade frequently to meet the needs of users
in
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at
show examples
really young ages to make their lives more convenient and vibrant.
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The Iphone
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Iphone
Correct your spelling
IPhone
is the best instance, as the company put effort into manufacturing new types of mobile phones with advanced photographic functions and to attract
children
to post their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
on the platforms of social media.
Moreover
, games and study applicants which can be downloaded on
children
's
cellphones
are the other attractions to appeal
young
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to young
show examples
generations to spend a large number of
time
in
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apply
show examples
concentrating on
visual
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the visual
show examples
world busy playing games
as well as
doing online homework and having classes on the internet.
This
development may be positive sometimes, because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure to smartphones is more likely to help
children
access the ability to use high-tech electronic devices,
such
as computers, pads and even artificial intelligence
robot
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robots
show examples
which can train
young
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the young
show examples
generation's familiarity with modern technology and
also
help them live a better life by using technological knowledge.
However
, spending a long
time
watching screens may damage
children
's eyesight leading to poor body conditions. Students who spend hours concentrating on mobile phones are more likely to less focus on lessons and textbooks during classes, as they tend to be distracted by
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
.
This
may sometimes lead to bad performance in schools and can
also
be negative for students to gain ideal scores in exams. In conclusion, the
upgration
Correct your spelling
upgradation
of the types of smartphones and the appealing applicants tend to be the results in attracting
children
to focus on playing
cellphones
.
While
this
phenomenone
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
has both positive and detrimental influences on
children
's daily lives and studies.
Submitted by 1434110674 on

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task response
In your essay, ensure you directly address all parts of the task. Your introduction should more clearly state why children spend hours on their phones and whether this is positive or negative. You touched on both aspects, but your position could be clearer.
coherence cohesion
Provide a more structured argument by offering distinct paragraphs for each main idea. This will help in creating a better flow and logical structure in your essay. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence.
task response
Support your arguments with more specific examples. Though you mentioned smartphones and their influence, giving more concrete examples or personal experiences would strengthen your points. Avoid general statements without backing them up with details.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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