IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Friendships that take place online are meaningful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#friendships #place
there are a myriad of explanations
why
Change preposition
for why
show examples
 some individuals gravitate toward searching
confidants
Change preposition
for confidants
show examples
 via social media,
such
 as Facebook,
Instagram
Correct word choice
and Instagram
show examples
,.... First and foremost, in other to have the convenience
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 making small talk with foreigners around the world, online fellowship is contemplated as an effective way, which
assists
Wrong verb form
assist
show examples
 people to grasp a lot of benefits,
such
 as having thorough insights into diverse cultures and conventions in other nations, equipping themselves bilingual skills, and the like.
Besides
, discussing daily stories online
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
 a sense of self-confidence in people when expressing their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 without being evaluated
body
Change preposition
by body
show examples
 language
as well as
 speech intonation.
Submitted by vantueman496 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your essay fully answers the question, providing a clear opinion on whether online friendships are meaningful and discussing this throughout the entire essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, at least two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should present the topic of the essay and your main argument.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence, logically organize your ideas and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use linking words effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or explanations. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more thorough analysis of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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