IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #popularity #instagram #accounts #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart displays information regarding the growth of fame in a 10-year period of popular Instagram influencers.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data reveals that in the year 2011, almost all of them had the same number of fans
however
Linking Words
, Cristiano Ronaldo significantly rose in fame by the year 2021. In the year 2011, Selena Gomez has the highest followers amounting to approximately 120
million
Use synonyms
 people.
However
Linking Words
, other celebrities,
such
Linking Words
 as Cristiano Ronaldo and Ariana Grande, almost had the same number of subscribers both amassing more than 100
million
Use synonyms
following
Replace the word
followers
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and the rest have less than a hundred.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, after 10 years, Renaldo tripled the number of his followers which peaked at about 320
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 Selena Gomez, despite a good standing in 2011,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only accumulated less than 250
million
Use synonyms
 in 2021.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the Rock, Ariana Grande and Kylie Jenner rose
similarly
Linking Words
 and hit 250
million
Use synonyms
 Instagram followers
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Submitted by decxelnarjoyragas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: