IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

#people #aid #countries #corruption #system
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Some
people
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 hold the opinion that
aid
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 should be given to all the impoverished
countries
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,
whereas
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 others say that help should not be provided to those
countries
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 which have
corruption
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 in their administration. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I intend to discuss both perspectives. I believe all poor
countries
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 should be provided
aid
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 but to ensure that it reaches the poor
people
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 it should be in non-monetary form. There are many reasons why some
people
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 say that all poor
countries
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 should be supported by
aid
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.
Firstly
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, international
aid
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 is not only given to reduce poverty
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 to improve the donor country’s own security. By giving
aid
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, the economic condition of the poor
countries
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 improves and so the conditions that promote terrorism,
such
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 as poverty, unemployment and
corruption
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 are removed. So,
this
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aid
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 promotes peace and stability in the whole world.
On the other hand
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, those who say that
countries
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 with
corruption
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 should not be helped give their main reason that all the
aid
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 given will not reach the
people
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 for whom the
aid
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 is meant
for
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apply
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. It may go into corrupt pockets.
Secondly
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, it would make those
people
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 lazy, as they would be getting paid without doing any work.
Thirdly
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, the
aid
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 may be used for
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 purposes.
For example
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, the
aid
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 may be given for development projects but it may be used to promote terrorism. I believe that the best way to help poor
countries
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 would be to provide non-monetary
aid
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, as it would reach the
people
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 it is meant for.
For example
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, good educational institutes, good health centres and job opportunities can be created for
people
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of
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from
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 poor
countries
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.
Furthermore
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, it would leave no scope for the corrupt politicians to siphon the funds away and ensure that the
people
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 in need are actually benefited.
To sum up
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, international
aid
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 should be given to all poor
countries
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, but if there is
corruption
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 it should not be in the form of monetary funds.
Submitted by aamenis on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Give specific examples to support your main points to provide a more convincing argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to help with the flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
End the essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.
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