Some people think that competitive sports have positive effects on teenager education, while others argue that effect is negative. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

People have different views about whether attending
sports
competitions
has a positive impact on adolescents'
education
or whether it has a negative impact.
While
some agree that it has negative effects, I believe that its positive effects are more significant. Both of these opinions will be argued in
this
essay. On the one hand, It is generally acknowledged that students who decide to do
sports
competitions
, need to allocate some
time
to practice in advance. They should spend some of their
education
time
and it will not be compensated by anything else.
Additionally
, they will lose their energy to do homework and practice their subjects. The more they spend their
time
for the
sport
, the less efficient
time
will be left for their
school
assignments. A case in point is the students who had won valuable prizes for their
sports
competitions
but scored low marks in the
school
subjects. So,
overall
, it will be a huge disadvantage for their educational route and future success.
On the other hand
, there is ample evidence that by doing a
sport
, teenagers will be healthier both physically and mentally and it will be beneficial for their
education
. Adolescents are full of energy and they need to spend it in a positive way and blossom their talents.
Moreover
,
according to
what psychologists say, those who do a
sport
regularly have a high potential to learn new things. So, it is undeniable that athletic teenagers' brains are strikingly ready to receive new data and memorise it.
For instance
, there are some talent shows which introduce children and teenagers who do side activities
such
as a
sport
and
also
are high-rate students in their
school
simultaneously.
Consequently
, we can see doing competitive
sports
could have a diverse range of effects on the student's
education
.
Although
some individuals have
this
idea that doing
sports
competitions
may harm the student's
education
, I am of the opinion that it could be helpful to improve their other intelligence in
school
.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of your essay by ensuring a clear progression of ideas. Begin with an introduction that outlines the topic and your stance, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point, and conclude with a summary that reiterates your opinion and the main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a clear introduction and conclusion that explicitly state the essay's topic and your position. This will help frame your argument and provide closure to your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. Rather than making general statements, use detailed examples to illustrate and strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure your response directly and fully addresses the task. Clearly discuss both views mentioned in the prompt and substantiate your opinion with detailed arguments and examples.
Task Achievement
Articulate your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for a balanced discussion that considers all aspects of the topic, providing thorough analysis and evaluation of each view before stating your own position.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Drawing from real-life situations, studies, or statistics can add credibility and depth to your arguments, helping to persuade the reader of your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • teamwork
  • growth mindset
  • sense of responsibility
  • manage success and failure
  • undue pressure
  • emphasize
  • winning at all costs
  • cheating
  • aggression
  • physical and emotional burnout
  • integration
  • social cohesion
  • diverse group of peers
  • encouraging empathy
  • hyper-competitive
  • overshadows
  • joy and love for the game
  • healthy and enjoyable activity
  • stressful obligation
  • means to an end
  • promote a balanced approach
  • competition is healthy
  • sportsmanship
  • valued above victory
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