IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Nowadays, the environmental problems have become a major concern for the communities. It is believed by many that the government ought to raise the petrol value in order to mitigate the
the
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traffic and pollution issues . In my point of view, I definitely agree with
this
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 statement because
this
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 solution can be beneficial to protect the amount of fuel consumption . Apparently,
i
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I
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 have to admit that increasing the price of petrol can reduce the usage of private cars to some extent .
Since many
Correct word choice
Many
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 people incentivize the use of public transportation
such
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 as buses and trains in commuting to their work or daily practices.
Consequently
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,
This
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 approach has improved the quality of life and health
for example
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, individuals will be obliged to work and cycle more in order to reduce transportation costs .
Thus
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, creating a healthy community can lead to a longer life with fewer diseases.
Additionally
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, there are other factors contributing to a
cleanless
Correct your spelling
clean
environment
.first
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First
 and foremost, if the government equipped the cities with satisfactory infrastructure transport by building more subway routes and buses , people may not need to utilize their vehicles every day.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the authorities should introduce clean energy
instead
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 of fossil fuels to decrease greenhouse gasses .
For instance
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 , there is a growing trend in the world toward encouraging to buy electric cars with no exhaust which is an effective way to inhibit global warming and improve the quality of air . In conclusion, as illustrated above , it can be confirmed that pollution and traffic jams can be eliminated by impacting high fuel prices
beside
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besides
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the
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constructing solar panels power and importing electric vehicles which are more environmentally friendly modes of transport .

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task response
Avoid repeating words unnecessarily, such as 'the the'. This helps improve clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Enhance vocabulary to articulate more complex ideas. For instance, phrases like 'incentivize the use' could be replaced with alternatives like 'encourage' or 'motivate'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transition between ideas and paragraphs to strengthen coherence and flow.
task response
The essay presents clear main ideas and specific examples to illustrate points, such as mentioning public transport and electric cars.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with relevant points supporting the main argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • discourage
  • incentivize
  • environmentally friendly
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • pollutants
  • alternative energy sources
  • sustainable economy
  • disproportionately affect
  • daily commuting
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • comprehensive solutions
  • public transportation systems
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