Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals think
children
's behaviour
has been worse standardized and also
they believe that this
is caused by parents' mistakes. On the other hand
, some argue this
relates to the school system
. In my opinion, the worse standard of a child's behaviour
may be influenced by both main factors,namely household and educational system
which are described with some relevant examples based on my experience.
According to
family background, some believe that worse standardized children
's behaviour
might be caused by their families. In my opinion,I agree that the relevant background of the household plays a crucial part in children
's actions. For example
, in terms of dining etiquette, the children
usually have dinner with their families so they normally observe how their parents behave during that period of dining time, and they might imitate what their guardians usually do such
as eating loudly,which is a negative manner. Consequently
,the inappropriate practice might be copied as well as
impacting negatively on the long-term standard of behaviour
.
In contrast
, some argue that those performances might be affected by the educational system
. I personally think the schools also
take an important part in those actions like families as mentioned previously. The kids might be directly influenced by friends,environment and schooling methods. For instance
, not focusing on teaching students to respect older people might be a worse part of the action because they do not actually know how to respect each other properly with great etiquette. Moreover
, the younger usually respect the older by respectfully greeting them with their hands with regard to Thailand's manner,which all the youths have learned since studying at primary school.
To conclude
, the lower standard of children
's performance might be influenced by both the family background and the schooling system
. Personally, the two generally take an essential role in their lives. However
, these consequences might be appropriately controlled by their family members and being in a good society of schooling.Submitted by phanphetpor on
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task achievement
When discussing examples, try to include a wider range of specific and clear instances to support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear and consistent tone throughout the essay. There are a few minor inconsistencies in phrasing which could be smoothed out for better readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and a well-structured conclusion, which helps the overall flow.
task achievement
You've done a good job of discussing both viewpoints and offering your own opinion, which addresses the task response well.