Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals think
children
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's
behaviour
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has been worse standardized and
also
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they believe that
this
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is caused by parents' mistakes.
On the other hand
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, some argue
this
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relates to the school
system
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. In my opinion, the worse standard of a child's
behaviour
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may be influenced by both main factors,namely household and educational
system
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which are described with some relevant examples based on my experience.
According to
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family background, some believe that worse standardized
children
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's
behaviour
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might be caused by their families. In my opinion,I agree that the relevant background of the household plays a crucial part in
children
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's actions.
For example
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, in terms of dining etiquette, the
children
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usually have dinner with their families so they normally observe how their parents behave during that period of dining time, and they might imitate what their guardians usually do
such
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as eating loudly,which is a negative manner.
Consequently
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,the inappropriate practice might be copied
as well as
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impacting negatively on the long-term standard of
behaviour
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.
In contrast
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, some argue that those performances might be affected by the educational
system
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. I personally think the schools
also
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take an important part in those actions like families as mentioned previously. The kids might be directly influenced by friends,environment and schooling methods.
For instance
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, not focusing on teaching students to respect older people might be a worse part of the action because they do not actually know how to respect each other properly with great etiquette.
Moreover
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, the younger usually respect the older by respectfully greeting them with their hands with regard to Thailand's manner,which all the youths have learned since studying at primary school.
To conclude
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, the lower standard of
children
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's performance might be influenced by both the family background and the schooling
system
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. Personally, the two generally take an essential role in their lives.
However
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, these consequences might be appropriately controlled by their family members and being in a good society of schooling.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

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task achievement
When discussing examples, try to include a wider range of specific and clear instances to support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear and consistent tone throughout the essay. There are a few minor inconsistencies in phrasing which could be smoothed out for better readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and a well-structured conclusion, which helps the overall flow.
task achievement
You've done a good job of discussing both viewpoints and offering your own opinion, which addresses the task response well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary influencers
  • mimic actions
  • instilling discipline
  • overindulge
  • set boundaries
  • broken homes
  • emotional support
  • shaping behavior
  • substantial amount of time
  • large class sizes
  • code of conduct
  • discipline policy
  • environmental factors
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
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