Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints

Some

people

argue that current technology has helped bring

people

together,

whereas

others believe that the effect is the opposite. In

this

essay, I will discuss both perspectives, give my opinion and some examples to support it. The enthusiasts of the first idea think that innovations

such

as the Internet, mobile phones, and other devices contribute to approximate

people

, especially those who are far away, living in another country or in another city.

For example

, I have some close schoolmates from college time which have moved abroad and thanks to social media, we keep in touch.

Moreover

, modern automation allows us to find pals from childhood with whom we eventually lose contact. Using chat software like WhatsApp, it is very easy to invite some partners to a party.

On the other hand

, children and adolescents prefer to use mobile phones to play games than talk to friends. Even among adults,

people

prefer to use automation rather than talk with community members. One instance that exemplifies

this

is that nowadays is faster and easier to access a website or an automatic call to order food or medication. To illustrate, in Brazil, there is a mobile application called "i-food" where is possible to check the menu and order food very quickly.

Besides

, the app saves our profile and it suggests the kind of meals we like most.

This

behaviour keeps us more and more away from human contact.

To sum up

, there are pros and cons to using machinery

device

Fix the agreement mistake

devices

show examples

and modern tools. It depends on how we use it. I believe that technology is a powerful tool that allows maintaining contact with family, mates and colleagues from the past in a question of seconds.

However

, it could be quite harmful to spend a lot of time on social media and missing who is on our side physically.

Submitted by fmulato on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance the coherence of your essay by ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs. Using phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In addition' can help bridge ideas more seamlessly.

Task Response

To improve task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. This includes discussing both views thoroughly and giving a clear opinion. Consider devoting equal space and depth to each perspective to fully satisfy the task requirement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Strengthen your essay's logical structure by organizing your thoughts more effectively. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point linked to the essay's overall argument.

Task Response

Include more specific examples to support your points. While you have provided some examples, further detailing these or adding more can strengthen your argument and make your ideas more convincing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communicate
social media
virtual meetings
global community
isolation
distract
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
dependency
technology addiction
digital divide

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders.

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Demand of food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can the international community take tomakevsure the food supply is enough?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. What extend do you agree or disagree?