IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel
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Presently, environmental issues are becoming
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
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 concern around the world for everyone.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
are stating
Wrong verb form
state
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 that
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the cost of
fuel
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 could be
effective
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an effective
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way
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 to solve these problems. In my point of view, I disapprove former statement that
surge
Correct article usage
a surge
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of
Change preposition
in
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fuel
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 would be helpful. In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, there is a general belief that the price of
fuel
Use synonyms
 should be increased in order to protect the environment.
Firstly
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, all countries do not have convenient access to
fuel
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 like
well
Correct word choice
apply
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petroleum and they have to provide
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
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 other communities.
Give
Wrong verb form
Given
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 that they increase the price
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fuel
Change preposition
of fuel
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due to
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preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
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 environment, many nations face difficulties
to supply
Change preposition
in supplying
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fuel
Use synonyms
 for
its population
Fix the agreement mistake
their populations
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.
Secondly
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, there is
possibility
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the possibility
a possibility
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 that only wealthy
people
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 can afford to use
fuel
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 if its rate goes up which causes more poverty in
country
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the country
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.
For instance
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, daily commuters are not capable
to use
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of using
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 petroleum for their travel to work
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 if they work in
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
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. Another point to consider is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 not only the rising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
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 cost
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 some
people
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 cope with various obstacles and unaffordable in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 but
also
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 it
causes
Verb problem
makes
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 the economy fragile. In
this
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 case, all transport facilities require
fuel
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 to move in order to have economical interaction with other nations whether ocean
way
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 or
road
Correct your spelling
roadway
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way
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 it would be expensive for them to travel around the world to provide some basic
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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.
Consequently
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, other materials in
market
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the market
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 become costly in lake of exports and
imports
Wrong verb form
imported
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 goods. In conclusion, increasing the rates of
fuel
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 in some
people
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’s attitude is
important
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an important
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way
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 to protect the environment
while
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 from my perspective I oppose
with
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
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fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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 that
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 both
people
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 and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 poor.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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Task Achievement
Be sure to develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. While you provided general scenarios to support your points, more detailed examples can strengthen your argument further.
Coherence & Cohesion
Carefully review your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement throughout. Addressing these small inaccuracies can polish your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider including a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of your essay. This will not only improve coherence but also showcase your linguistic range.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were clear, effectively framing your essay and providing a solid foundation for your arguments. Well done!
Task Achievement
You demonstrated a strong ability to articulate a clear stance on the issue and maintained this perspective throughout your essay. This is excellent for task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay effectively discussed the broader implications on both individuals and the economy, displaying a thorough understanding of the cause and effect relationship, which is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
What to do next:
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