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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science shoud be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #shoud #people’s #lives
The ultimate objective of scientific development has been at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of many ongoing debates ,
while
 it is well-accepted that the most crucial goal of any advancement in the world of
science
 should be improving the
quality
 of individuals'
lives
, I believe there are certain circumstances where prioritizing other factors over humans'
lives
 might be beneficial. Primarily, it is of utmost importance to note that the provided funding for conducting research and scientific experiments mostly originates from public money.
This
, undeniably, holds researchers accountable against the impact of their studies on the
overall
quality
 of life that citizens experience.
That is
 to say, when
conseidered
Correct your spelling
considered
 a national expenditure, society should benefit from the findings of the research industry.
Additionally
, the high-
quality
lives
 of individuals can go hand-in-hand with the development of
science
. It goes without saying that the more relaxed
people
 feel, the more they will seek high-level thinking; logically, it cannot be reasonable to expect, say, patients suffering from HIV to focus on the side of the knowledge that would, in no
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
, aid their condition.
However
, there are certain situations in which deprioritising the improvement of public
lives
 would be necessary. Unfortunately, what benefits
people
 does not always align with what is best for the Earth. With the Earth being the unique habitat of human beings, it is undoubtedly essential for us to consider its needs even if it requires a shift of focus in the target of
science
. In conclusion, generally speaking,
science
 should dedicate its findings to creating a
better
Add a hyphen
better-quality
show examples
quality
 of life because of the investment
people
 make in research
along with
 the possible
further
 progression that individuals may account for by living a calm life.
However
, it is important to note that if the
quality
 of
people
's
lives
 puts nature at risk, it is best for us to reconsider our priorities.
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grammar
Ensure minor grammatical errors, such as tense agreement and punctuation, are corrected for increased clarity.
task response
Expand on the examples given to provide more specific and detailed support for your points. This enhances the strength of your argument.
coherence
Although the essay flows well, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to further improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
The essay clearly addresses the task and provides a balanced view on the topic.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and contribute effectively to the essay’s overall structure.
coherence
The main points are logically structured and well-supported.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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