Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that it is more
advantageousto
Correct your spelling
advantageous to
advantageous
choose
ajob
Correct your spelling
a job
job
with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all.D completely
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
with
this
opinion and think that
job
satisfaction
is much more important than
salary
. First of all, I believe that
job
satisfaction
gives people a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high
salary
, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience,
this
person won't enjoy his life,
While
pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
of
satisfaction
.
For example
, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. Add
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high
salary
.
Secondly
, doing what you like keeps you motivated and
therefore
leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
between
job
satisfaction
and productivity. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put
salary
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the first place.
For instance
, Henry Miller decided to
o
Verb problem
apply
show examples
leave his everyday
job
despite a good wage and ventured to become a writer. And after enduring years of ups and
downs
Add a comma
downs,
show examples
he became one of the most famous and well-paid authors of the twentieth century.
Thus
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
of a low
salary
in a long-term perspective.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that
job
satisfaction
is more
benefici
Correct your spelling
beneficial
than
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
because it makes people happy and motivated.
Submitted by fatema14mohammed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You have misunderstood the task. Your essay discusses job satisfaction versus salary, which is not related to the influence of advertising on consumers and measures to protect them. Read the question carefully and ensure your response directly addresses all parts of the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay suffers from a lack of coherent structure related to the prompt. Start with an introduction that clearly states your understanding of the question and your stance. Then, develop paragraphs that correspond to the specific aspects of the question, leading to a cohesive and structured essay.
task response
Use more versatile and specific examples related to the actual essay topic. Given that your essay didn't address the prompt correctly, ensure your examples and reasons directly support your arguments about the essay's actual topic in future attempts.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising campaign
  • celebrity endorsement
  • psychological manipulation
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertisement
  • digital marketing
  • social proof
  • peer review
  • consumer trust
  • brand loyalty
  • misleading advertisement
  • government regulation
  • consumer protection
  • media literacy
  • ad-blocker
  • privacy settings
  • informed choice
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • consumer awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: