Many museums charge for admission while others are free . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages .
While
some museums
are free, other museums
are required to pay fee
for Add an article
a fee
the fee
entrance
. I think having admission fee
for Fix the agreement mistake
fees
museum’s
Change noun form
museums
advantages
are
outweigh the disadvantages. Unnecessary verb
apply
This
essay will delve into why the advantages
of having charge
for Correct article usage
a charge
museum
ticket Correct article usage
a museum
is
outweigh its Unnecessary verb
apply
disadvantage
.
Free Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
entrance
museums
give great
Add an article
a great
opportunity
to Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
citizen
, Add an article
the citizen
a citizen
as improving
their knowledge in Change preposition
to improve
variety
of fields. Add an article
a variety
Therefore
, visiting free
Add an article
a free
the free
museum
is great
opportunity to spend valuable time with Add an article
a great
loved
. Correct pronoun usage
loved ones
However
, there are valuable advantages
for
free Change preposition
to
museums
, I consider that museums
need to charge because protecting our cultural heritages
and historical valuables are duty for everyone. Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
Instead
of
Change preposition
apply
that
offering special Correct determiner usage
apply
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
according to
the annual plan would be more important. Take, for example
, in
Mongolia, there are events organized annually Change preposition
apply
such
as Museum
week
and Capitalize word
Week
people
can visit there free
during these days.
Change preposition
for free
However
, buying ticket
for Add an article
a ticket
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
entrance
means protecting our cultural heritage and historical valuables. This
is because museum
requires plenty of costs for their normal operation and governments are allocated a lot of budgets for this
sector. However
, this
allocation generally is not enough for normal therefore
, entrance
Add an article
an entrance
the entrance
fee
of museums
usually is spent for protection. For example
, this
fund is spent for
fixing Change preposition
on
museum
building
and buying special chemicals for Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
the
protection. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, paying for museum
entrance
means contributing normal operation of museums
.
Another important aspect for
why Change preposition
of
people
need to pay for museum
ticket
is the importance of value. Normally, if Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
people
pay for something from their pocket, they will realize as a
valuable. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, visitors may more pay attention for
the Change preposition
to
speech
of curators because they Fix the agreement mistake
speeches
dedicated
their time and money Wrong verb form
dedicate
for
Change preposition
to
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
As a result
/ consequently
people
may gain more knowledge than people
who entered free.
To conclude
, having fee
for Add an article
a fee
museum
should be suggested and Correct article usage
a museum
this
perspective’s advantages
are more outweigh than disadvantages. However
, offering free museums
offer
possibilities to enhance other’s knowledge, it can be offered for Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
the
special Correct article usage
apply
event
or only for Fix the agreement mistake
events
group
of Add an article
a group
the group
people
. Therefore
, I believe that contributing history
and cultural heritage is everyone’s responsibility.Change preposition
to history
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task response
Ensure you fully answer the question and clearly state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your introduction could be stronger by including a thesis statement that directly addresses the essay prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Improve your essay by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Use clear and varied transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.
task response & coherence and cohesion
To strengthen your argument, provide more detailed examples and evidence for your points. Also, ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea for clarity and coherence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example