Many museums charge for admission while others are free . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages .

#museums #charge #admission #outweigh

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While

Linking Words

some

museums

Use synonyms

are free, other

museums

Use synonyms

are required to pay

Use synonyms

fee

Add an article

a fee

the fee

show examples

for

entrance

Use synonyms

. I think having admission

Use synonyms

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

for

Use synonyms

museum’s

Change noun form

museums

show examples

advantages

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweigh the disadvantages.

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into why the

advantages

Use synonyms

of having

charge

Correct article usage

a charge

show examples

for

Use synonyms

museum

Correct article usage

a museum

show examples

ticket

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweigh its

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

. Free

entrance

Use synonyms

museums

Use synonyms

give

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

citizen

Add an article

the citizen

a citizen

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as improving

Change preposition

to improve

show examples

their knowledge in

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

of fields.

Therefore

Linking Words

, visiting

free

Add an article

a free

the free

show examples

museum

Use synonyms

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

opportunity to spend valuable time with

loved

Correct pronoun usage

loved ones

show examples

However

Linking Words

, there are valuable

advantages

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

free

museums

Use synonyms

, I consider that

museums

Use synonyms

need to charge because protecting our cultural

heritages

Fix the agreement mistake

heritage

show examples

and historical valuables are duty for everyone.

Instead

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

offering special

service

Fix the agreement mistake

services

show examples

according to

Linking Words

the annual plan would be more important. Take,

for example

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Mongolia, there are events organized annually

such

Linking Words

Museum

Use synonyms

week

Capitalize word

Week

show examples

and

people

Use synonyms

can visit there

free

Change preposition

for free

show examples

during these days.

However

Linking Words

, buying

ticket

Add an article

a ticket

show examples

for

Use synonyms

museum

Correct article usage

the museum

show examples

entrance

Use synonyms

means protecting our cultural heritage and historical valuables.

This

Linking Words

is because

museum

Use synonyms

requires plenty of costs for their normal operation and governments are allocated a lot of budgets for

this

Linking Words

sector.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

allocation generally is not enough for normal

therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

entrance

Add an article

an entrance

the entrance

show examples

fee

Use synonyms

museums

Use synonyms

usually is spent for protection.

For example

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

fund is spent

for

Change preposition

show examples

fixing

museum

Use synonyms

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

and buying special chemicals for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

protection.

As a result

Linking Words

, paying for

museum

Use synonyms

entrance

Use synonyms

means contributing normal operation of

museums

Use synonyms

. Another important aspect

for

Change preposition

show examples

why

people

Use synonyms

need to pay for

museum

Use synonyms

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

is the importance of value. Normally, if

people

Use synonyms

pay for something from their pocket, they will realize as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

valuable.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, visitors may more pay attention

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

speech

Fix the agreement mistake

speeches

show examples

of curators because they

dedicated

Wrong verb form

dedicate

show examples

their time and money

for

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

consequently

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

may gain more knowledge than

people

Use synonyms

who entered free.

To conclude

Linking Words

, having

Use synonyms

fee

Add an article

a fee

show examples

for

Use synonyms

museum

Correct article usage

a museum

show examples

should be suggested and

this

Linking Words

perspective’s

advantages

Use synonyms

are more outweigh than disadvantages.

However

Linking Words

, offering free

museums

Use synonyms

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

show examples

possibilities to enhance other’s knowledge, it can be offered for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

special

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

or only for

group

Add an article

a group

the group

show examples

people

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that contributing

history

Change preposition

to history

show examples

and cultural heritage is everyone’s responsibility.

Submitted by zulzayanyamkhu on Sun Mar 24 2024

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task response

Ensure you fully answer the question and clearly state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your introduction could be stronger by including a thesis statement that directly addresses the essay prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Improve your essay by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Use clear and varied transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.

task response & coherence and cohesion

To strengthen your argument, provide more detailed examples and evidence for your points. Also, ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea for clarity and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

344 words

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts- music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure,business and commercial purpose around the world over recent years. What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights? Do you think flight should be texted more?