Some people believe that sports create peace in world. Do you agree or disagree with ?

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SPORTS
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HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A BIG PART OF HUMAN HISTORY EXPANDING CENTURIES. MANY
PEOPLE
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CLAIM THAT
SPORTS
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CONTRIBUTE TO GLOBAL PEACE
WHILE
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OTHERS THINK THEY ONLY INCREASE HATRED. IN
THIS
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ESSAY, I WILL SHOW THAT
SPORTS
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LEAD TO PEACE SINCE THEY TEACH US SPORTSMANSHIP
AS WELL AS
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INTRODUCE DIFFERENT CULTURES TO EACH OTHER.
TO BEGIN
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WITH,
SPORTS
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FOSTER HEALTHY COMPETITION IN NATIONS. ONE OF THE THINGS WE LEARN FROM
SPORTS
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IS TO RESPECT OUR OPPONENTS AND TO BE GRACEFUL WHETHER WE ARE WINNING OR LOSING.
FOR EXAMPLE
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, IN 2012, IN A 100M RACE HELD IN LONDON DURING THE OLYMPICS, ONE OF THE RACERS BROKE HIS ANKLE AND HIS RIVAL HELPED HIM
INSTEAD
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OF FINISHING THE RACE
WHILE
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THE PUBLIC CLAPPED FOR BOTH RACERS.
SUCH
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INCIDENTS TEACH US TO CARE ABOUT OUR FELLOW MANKIND.
FURTHERMORE
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,
SPORTS
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IS A PLACE TO LEARN ABOUT DIFFERENT
PEOPLE
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AND WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN.
SPORTS
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CELEBRATE WHAT MAKES US DIFFERENT AND SHOW US HOW SIMILAR WE ALL ARE TO ONE ANOTHER
MOREOVER
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, THEY INCREASE POSITIVE VIEWS THAT ARE HELD BY
PEOPLE
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.
FOR INSTANCE
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, A SURVEY THAT WAS DONE AFTER THE 2010 WORLD CUP HELD IN SOUTH AFRICA FOUND THAT
PEOPLE
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WHO WATCHED OR ATTENDED THE GAMES HAD ELEVATED RESPECT FOR SOUTH AFRICA AND AFRICA AS WELL. IN CONCLUSION,
SPORTS
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ARE A CRUCIAL PART OF OUR LIVES AND WILL REMAIN SO FOR THE NEAR FUTURE. PERSONALLY, I BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE PLAYED AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN ADVANCING GLOBAL PEACE BECAUSE WE LEARN TO BE BETTER
PEOPLE
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THROUGH HEALTHY COMPETITION AND TAKE NEW IDEAS FROM NATIONS ALL OVER THE WORLD.
Submitted by Abdulrahimmohamudali on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your examples are as specific and detailed as possible. While general instances and surveys are helpful, direct, vivid anecdotes or case studies will enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures more to provide rhythmic variety and to avoid repetitiveness. Incorporating a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your essay more engaging to read.
Task Achievement
In your essay, try to link your ideas more explicitly to the overarching thesis or argument. While your points are related to the topic, making direct connections between your examples and how they support your stance will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider introducing counterarguments to your position and then refuting them. This can demonstrate an understanding of the complexity of the issue and further solidify your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fostering
  • unity
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • historical moments
  • political and cultural divides
  • nationalism
  • division
  • sports diplomacy
  • peacekeeping
  • diplomatic efforts
  • grassroots
  • community cohesion
  • prevent conflict
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