Some children spend hours a day on their smartphones.
In recent years, the usage of
smartphones
among children
has increased significantly. Many children
spend hours daily on smartphones
. There are several reasons
why this
trend is gaining momentum, and opinions are divided on whether this
development is positive or negative. In this
essay, I will discuss the reasons
behind the increasing usage of smartphones
among children
and present my view on how this
is a negative development.
One of the reasons
why children
began to spend more time
on smartphones
is the digitalization of society. Today's generation is accustomed to solving all possible issues with the help of gadgets: working using technology, relaxing by watching movies and listening to music, and even shopping has become mostly online. Children
in this
sense are no exception and only do the same as the rest of the world. However
, the next reason for large screen time
of children
is the lack of real communication. The modern world has become so fast that even young children
sometimes do not have enough time
to go out and play with friends, as they are constantly busy with school and extracurricular activities. Therefore
, it is easier for children
to write several messages to their friends than to have time
to meet them in person. Thirdly
, the reason for the widespread use of smartphones
among children
can be attributed to marketing companies of digital businesses. Social networks such
as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and others are trying to change their interface so much that people become dependent on these applications and spend as much time
as possible in them, which, of course, affects children
as well.
In my opinion, children
's excessive use of smartphones
is more a negative fact than a positive one. A large amount of screen time
can lead to various health problems: blurred vision, deterioration of posture, problems with attention. In addition
, smartphones
also
affect the mental health of both children
and adults. They cause people to worry more and spend less time
in the present rather than thinking about the past and future. Finally
, the online environment can make it difficult for children
to communicate in real life. The more adults neglect children
's need to have free time
to communicate with peers, the more often they will communicate online and thereby lose empathy and socialization skills.
In conclusion, the increasing usage of smartphones
among children
is a concerning trend. There are many reasons
why smartphones
have become a part of the lives of children
and teenagers today, but society needs to find solutions to all these reasons
to help children
spend less time
online and more time
in the real world. Otherwise
, they will inevitably face problems with mental and physical health, and it will also
be more difficult for them to assimilate into society.Submitted by julykryuchkova on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. This helps in structuring your essay more logically and makes your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This helps in demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve in terms of coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are well structured, try to make your conclusion more impactful by summarizing your arguments more strongly and stating your opinion clearly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
