In recent years, people in many countries have been able to afford more material possessions such as electronic kitchen appliances, computers, and vehicles. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this increased level of affluence, and give your opinion about whether this is a positive or negative development.
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It has become more common for
people
to purchase more convenient materials including kitchen appliances, computers and vehicles. I believe that this
is a positive development as they facilitate their life regardless of the potential negative outcome of environmental destruction due to
a sudden rise in waste.
On the one hand, the prevalent use of modern electric items is the
positive development since they allow Correct article usage
a
people
to save time and energy. In other words
, they are able to have a more satisfactory life thanks to recent inventions, which have replaced many conventional works. For instance
, a computer, which is one of the advanced tools today, has enabled people
to refer to an excessive amount of information as well as
store digital data on a device, reducing the need to file each page, which used to take forever. Therefore
, people
are able to devote themselves more to creative work and establishing intimate relationships with others instead
of spending many hours on laborious paperwork.
On the other hand
, the growing access to the latest tools will bring about some negative consequences as they harm the environment when they are thrown away by rude consumers. Indeed, the illegal waste of electric tools has become an imminent issue especially as people
are able to afford them at a lower cost than in the past. Furthermore
, the accumulation of wasted products leads to a growing level of CO2 and harmful substances when they are burnt, posing serious damage to the environment. In contrast
to the increasing convenience and comfort for humans, wild animals will be primary victims as they lose more habitat.
In conclusion, I believe that growing access to modern materials is beneficial from the perspective of humans as they greatly reduce the physical workload. However
, there is a potential side effect on the environment, which is severely damaged by the increase in electric waste.Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, try to expand slightly on the explanation of the negative impacts and elaborate on more global consequences or solutions.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the use of linking words is good, but you could improve by adding more varied connectors and cohesive devices to enhance the fluidity of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively set the context and summarize the ideas discussed.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages in equal measure, providing a balanced discussion.