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Band 1

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

#people #plan #activities #time #it’s #waste
A lot of people believe that making
to do
Add a hyphen
to-do
show examples
 list of what to do next in the meantime is important
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 daily basis meanwhile others think it is a waste of time. I strongly believe
thoughtfully
Correct word choice
that thoughtfully
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schedule
Wrong verb form
scheduling
show examples
 our activities could lead to a better impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how time
used
Add a missing verb
is used
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 and would give many advantages.
Firtsly
Correct your spelling
First
, adults have tons of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 and responsibilities to do
such
 as job assignments, billing
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
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, or taking care of their children. Those things could affect the income and outcome of their life
hence
 spending time to arrange
list
Add an article
the list
a list
show examples
 of things
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 to be done would make their day easier and decrease the possibility of failure.
Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on

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task achievement
Expand your essay to include a fuller discussion of both views and your own opinion, providing more examples and explanations for each.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay's structure by including a clear introduction with a thesis statement, well-developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion summarizing the main points and stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use connectors and transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by incorporating specific, real-world examples or statistics that support your points, making them more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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