IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Do you think it is better for students to work before their university studies? Why?  Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

#students #work #university #studies #support #choice
It is debatable whether individuals should
work
 before entering
university
. I believe It would be a crucial step because
this
 job
experience
 will help them in future opportunities and can tackle many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 which will occur during their studies.
To begin
 with, going to
university
 can be challenging
due to
 the high pressure of studying various new subjects.
This
 problem can be solved if students introduce themselves to practical
work
 in their field of study.
This
 not only helps them to develop new social skills,
such
 as teamwork, but
also
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 them in their studies and even after their graduation.
Moreover
, It is important to remember that studying at
university
 requires a significant investment of both time and money. Dropping out after realizing that a specific course is not of interest can lead to severe problems.
For example
, they can face financial setbacks and even become victims of anxiety and depression.
Furthermore
, if students have a specific
university
 degree and related
work
experience
, it can make their resume stronger, increasing their chances of finding employment in their chosen field.
For instance
, companies tend to prioritize candidates with both academic qualifications and relevant
work
experience
 over those who only possess a degree. In conclusion, working before pursuing higher education can help students test themselves and gain valuable
experience
 that can lead to better job prospects in the future.
Submitted by gurisidhu95214 on

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task response
Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question. Avoid vague introductions.
task response
Develop your paragraphs with more specific examples to illustrate your points. Consider adding personal anecdotes or citing studies to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a more cohesive essay structure by using transitional phrases to link ideas within and between paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and a strong restatement of your position. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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