IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The news media have become more influential in people’s lives, some people think it’s a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#news #media #people’s #lives #people #it’s #development
The role of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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news
media
 plays a vital role in shaping
people
's perceptions of the world. It is
also
 undeniably true that the more persuasive the
news
 content, the more easily
people
 can be influenced.
However
, some
people
 perceive
such
 phenomena as negative developments. I strongly disagree with
this
 view because the influence of the
news
 not only raises one's awareness but
also
 increases one's critical thinking skills.
To begin
 with, the persuasiveness of the information crafted by the
media
 may attract the public's interest to a great extent, resulting in more
people
 becoming more aware of their surroundings.
For example
, recent
news
 about environmental issues in my country, where there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 so much
deforestations
Fix the agreement mistake
deforestation
show examples
 going on, drives some
people
 to take real action by not only voicing their opinion to prevent
further
 impacts of habitat loss
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 creating a zero waste campaign and asking
people
 to shift into a more eco-friendly product. With
this
 in mind,
such
 influential
news
media
 can foster
people
's empathy for their community, and in turn, positive solutions can be offered to the environment by the public itself. Another thing is that the necessity of
media
 literacy and critical thinking skills in the digital age can discern credible
news
 sources from biased or false information. In conclusion.
the
Correct article usage
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persuasive
news
media
 can have positive impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
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people
 ,
such
 as raising awareness and improving the ability to think critically.
Submitted by 44sunsets on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to fully develop your arguments with relevant examples. While you provided a specific example regarding environmental issues, further expanding your argument with more varied examples could enhance clarity and persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the structure of your essay by introducing clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will help to signal the main idea of each paragraph more effectively to the reader.
Task Achievement
While your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, strengthening your conclusion by summarizing your main points more clearly could enhance its impact. Additionally, consider stating your position more clearly in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next by using transitional phrases or words. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pervasive
  • public opinion
  • shape perceptions
  • sensationalism
  • misinformation
  • public mistrust
  • manipulation
  • fostering division
  • bias
  • selective portrayal
  • echo chamber effect
  • raising awareness
  • watchdog
  • informed discourse
  • media literacy
  • critical thinking skills
  • credible
  • biased
  • promote unity
  • fostering empathy
  • diverse perspectives
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